girlfriend going to club with others

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my girlfriend (of 1 month) is going to a club with a group of her friends (male and female) for a birthday party. I was not invited by this friend because I am from a different state and her friends do not know me yet. How should I approach this topic if at all, because I will be naturally worried. She likes to dance and is driving up with her neighbor who is a male.
She is not one to cheat but it still makes me uneasy but I do know i need to show some trust but do not want to get hurt either. thanks!

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Type: Question • Score: 8 • Views: 1,456 • Replies: 28

@jmjmjm1,

Why not ask your girlfriend to call and find out if the invitation will include you? I can not imagine the host of the party refusing.

1 Reply

@jmjmjm1,

When you enter a relationship you enter it with trust. No one owns anyone.

Tell her to enjoy herself.

0 Replies

@roger,

it is kind of her and her friend group and i would feel weird going with all of them (bc i do not know them yet) and i do not want to seem all clingy. this was one of the first things she told me when we met.. i just dont know what I can say to her so i am more comfortable with her going.

2 Replies

@jmjmjm1,

You've only known her for a month and it's natural to be insecure at the beginning, but the longer you extend the rope - so to speak - the earlier she'll reel it in herself. If you keep it tight, she'll feel uncomfortable and will escape as soon as she can.
Wish her a good time and go out and do something with your friends at the same time so you don't sit at home worrying.
Good luck!

0 Replies

@jmjmjm1,

Is this the same woman as you were seeing on this thread?
http://able2know.org/topic/273403-1#post-5930189

There seems to be a pattern here.

1 Reply

@Ragman,

same one. but all is good now. what should i do

2 Replies

@jmjmjm1,

Normally when you invited someone to such an event it allowed him or her to bring a partner.

1 Reply

@BillRM,

That's what I was thinking. Now, it turns out he's uncomfortable with her going without him, but he would also be uncomfortable with being there. I'm not sure where to go from here.

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@jmjmjm1,

I see you are anxious about this, but if you don't learn to relax a little you are going to smother this girl. It makes me anxious just reading this.

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@jmjmjm1,

jmjmjm1 wrote:

because I will be naturally worried.

nope

not natural

you've been seeing someone for a month

she has plans without you

That is natural.

Dating someone doesn't mean you do all your socializing as a pair.

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@jmjmjm1,

jmjmjm1 wrote:

same one. but all is good now. what should i do

same one?

the one who likes some space?

you need to stay relaxed

it really is normal to socialize without a girlfriend/boyfriend/partner/spouse

are you usually uneasy/intense in relationships?

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Can you explain to me how this works?

You don't want to attend the event with your girlfriend and her friends because you don't know any of them and would feel uncomfortable.

You have the option of asking her to see if you can go too, but you don't want to for the above reason.

If you don't give yourself opportunities to become comfortable with her friends, how is all this supposed to work? Are you expecting her to drop all her other friends for you?

1 Reply

@jmjmjm1,

jmjmjm1 wrote:

i just dont know what I can say to her so i am more comfortable with her going.

tell her to have a great time at the club and that you look forward to seeing her again later in the week

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

Quote:

tell her to have a great time at the club and that you look forward to seeing her again later in the week

It does seems a little strange that his new girlfriend would not be eager to take him along and introduced him to her circle of friends.

In the last few months for example I had been taken to the hospital to meet her sister in law and the sister in law new born baby and even been taken to some of my girlfriend doctor appointments.

Of course my relationship is going on four months now not one month and we are living together.

2 Replies

@Butrflynet,

i dont need to control what she does i just am worried bc the neighbor that she is going with has tried to get with her before. they are neighbors and friends so not much i can do but i feel they are too close... she doesnt want to tell him about me yet because he might get jealous and think her and him cant hangout anymore.

if i asked her to go she would probably think im being too clingy

2 Replies

@jmjmjm1,

Quote:

she doesnt want to tell him about me yet because he might get jealous and think her and him cant hangout anymore.

Sound like you might wish for a number of reasons to begin to look around for a new girlfriend as she does not appear anywhere near ready to declared such a relationship with you.

0 Replies

@BillRM,

BillRM wrote:

In the last few months for example I had been taken to the hospital to meet her sister in law and the sister in law new born baby and even been taken to some of my girlfriend doctor appointments.

Of course my relationship is going on four months now not one month and we are living together.

weren't you still married last month?

1 Reply

@jmjmjm1,

jmjmjm1 wrote:

i dont need to control what she does i just am worried bc the neighbor that she is going with has tried to get with her before. they are neighbors and friends so not much i can do but i feel they are too close... she doesnt want to tell him about me yet because he might get jealous and think her and him cant hangout anymore.

if i asked her to go she would probably think im being too clingy

try not to worry about the neighbour

she's chosen to date you, not him

he's a friend, and she apparently knows how to handle his interest in her

they've probably known each other a long time, and she likely doesn't want to lose the friendship

___

if it's too difficult for you to date her while she maintains other friendships, you may need to find a different type of girlfriend

0 Replies

@BillRM,

BillRM wrote:

Quote:
tell her to have a great time at the club and that you look forward to seeing her again later in the week

It does seems a little strange that his new girlfriend would not be eager to take him along and introduced him to her circle of friends.

In the last few months for example I had been taken to the hospital to meet her sister in law and the sister in law new born baby and even been taken to some of my girlfriend doctor appointments.

Of course my relationship is going on four months now not one month and we are living together.

This is new, are you no longer married to the woman you describe as a doormat?

1 Reply

girlfriend going to club with others

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