11
   

My sister’s story- the life of a heroin addict.

 
 
Reply Mon 18 May, 2015 08:31 pm
I am posting this here because it is honestly the only place I feel I could talk about it openly without judgement.

I suppose I will start with the girl she once was. She was born December 18, 1992. She was a sweet little girl with the cutest smile. She used to walk around the house holding her Winnie the Pooh, which was bigger than her for a while. She still has that Winnie the Pooh. She used to watch Barney over and over again singing the “I love you” song. We used to go camping every summer and she was always happy but she was too young to remember what I do.

Sure we didn’t have the best family; I’ll admit it was quite unstable. I didn’t grow up with her, I was sent to live with my grandparents when she was about 5 years old. I did go there every weekend until she was about 8 years old. Her father (my ex step father) was/is an alcoholic. My mother was never fit to be a mother; she tried more to be a friend. They got divorced when she was about 8 years old and he left. She never spent time with her father and he barely visited. My mother struggled with depression and self-mutilation.

They moved one last time and my mother worked a full time job. My brother and sister grew up as “Latchkey” kids. My mother, out of guilt, never implemented any rules or discipline. I am eight years older than my sister. I tried to guide her but due to the age gap she didn’t seem to relate to me as much as she did my other sister. She is 6 years older than my sister.

Five years ago, when my sister was 18 she was introduced to Heroin. She was so young. She, of course, had been drinking and smoking before she was 18. Again she was never disciplined… my mother caught her smoking and she would get a car. My mothers’ guilt consumed her and she felt, because my sister didn’t grow up with a father, that she had to make up for it.

These last five years have been a nightmare. I’ve watched my sister go in and out of dozens of rehabs. I’ve watched my younger brother (born in 1994) struggle while my mother attended to all of my sisters needs and he got shafted. Luckily he has led a straight and narrow path. He is presently in the military and moved states away but no matter how far away you get it still affects you.

My sister met a man (he was the same age as me) and he was also an addict. My mother always said he introduced my sister to the drug. She became pregnant at 19 and had my nephew in 2012. I was told she was clean the entire pregnancy. He is a beautiful three year old boy.

About a year ago his father overdosed. He was found on a motel room floor, alone in his own vomit. He was 29. He could have had a happy life raising his two sons (he had another from a previous relationship) but instead they are now without a father.

Fast forward to 2015…. My mother has had custody of my nephew since he was about 3 months old. She has continuously let my sister move back to their apartment, even when she was using. My nephew has lacked stability and was not in a safe environment. DSS has always been involved; I have learned that the system just doesn’t seem to work. They are overloaded due to the Heroin epidemic in Massachusetts.

My sister went to a rehab in Texas. There was an altercation because she kissed a man. She became aggressive and alleged that one of the men working there pushed her. She checked out early. As you must know an addict can be very manipulative and will say anything for your sympathy. My mother always hoped for the best and believed her… I never did.

She came back from Texas and went to a halfway home. She was clean for a total of 22 days and then began using again. That was a little over a month ago. In one month she is now back to shooting 4 bags of Heroin a day. My mother gave up custody of my nephew today and he moved in with his father’s mother. My sister in on a plane to a rehab in FL for 30 days; I wish I could say I have faith that this time it will work…. But I don’t.

I know first-hand the effects of Heroin. I’ve seen it tear apart my family. My entire family… we don’t celebrate any holidays together anymore. My kids will never know what we used to have when the family got together, all the cousins playing while we waited to hunt for Easter eggs or open Christmas presents. I’ve watched my mother and siblings suffer. My mother wears the stress all over her body; it has affected her mentally and physically.

My little brother, only 20 years old, lived with this for 4 years until he went into the service last year. He still deals with it every day through phone calls or messages. The weight and stress hangs on his shoulders and he is too young to have to bear that weight. My nephew is only 3 years old. He has already lost his father and for all intents purpose has lost his mother too. He has been taken out of his home and has to start all over again. No child deserves that. I am hopeful that this change will at least help him. He is finally away from it all.

Heroin addiction is hell for everyone around an addict. We suffer every day; I chose to suffer in silence. I am not proud to say that my little sister is a Heroin addict. All you get is people saying “I’m so sorry” or “that sucks.” I am not proud that I honestly don’t think my sister will recover. We have been through this so many times and I don’t see a happy outcome. My sister is manipulative. She is not the sister I once knew. She is not the little girl that used to carry around her Winnie the Pooh and smile from ear to ear.

I have accepted that I can’t save her, you can't save someone because they need to save themselves. Call it a disease, call it a choice. Everyone has their own term for it. Some people blame genetics, others say there is no excuse. I honestly don’t know but I do know that my sister may be alive but she is gone.

After today I figured I would share the story. I know there are so many people out there dealing with the same issue, addiction… whatever substance it may be. Addiction affects everyone. Each of us knows someone that knows some with an addiction. It has taken over our communities and taken away our loved ones.

I fear the next time I write about my sister… it will be her obituary; she is only 22 years old.

We have an epidemic on our hands, I don’t need to raise awareness; it is all over the news and social media. My reason for this post is not to hear people that they are sorry but it is to those of you, like me, that don’t talk about it, please know that you’re not alone; we are not alone.

If anyone wants to share their stories or find support... it might be nice to have an outlet.
  • Topic Stats
  • Top Replies
  • Link to this Topic
Type: Discussion • Score: 11 • Views: 8,325 • Replies: 52

 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Mon 18 May, 2015 08:48 pm
@Crazielady420,
Your girls are so lucky to have you as a mother.

___

Just read this about five times. So many feelings. Mostly wishing my mom was around to talk to you. Two of her half-sisters died as a result of their addictions many many years ago. I always wondered if the addictions had something to do with why my parents moved to another continent - to get away from the craziness of the family. I never really knew any of my cousins. Not sure if I missed anything as a result. I am pretty sure that my mother's life was better for not having to constantly be on alert for what the half-sisters were up to.

I think that only having mail to keep in touch with family kept things sane. Today's constant contact would have been awful.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Mon 18 May, 2015 08:49 pm
@Crazielady420,
and good luck to your sister.

Some addicts do make it out the other side.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Mon 18 May, 2015 08:52 pm
Thank you for writing.

You know more than I do about all this.

Your sister, your sister.




Do I remember that you have thought of writing? I won't chase that back, but maybe I do remember that. You also may not want to, it's so close, or the opposite, could be good to do.
I got a little confused that but figured it out.

Save your comments, as you might want to write later.
0 Replies
 
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Mon 18 May, 2015 09:11 pm
@Crazielady420,
bookmark I need time to think, back later
0 Replies
 
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Mon 18 May, 2015 09:18 pm
@Crazielady420,
We have seen you over the years going from a silly girl to maturing into a woman who has her head straight on and became a great mother on top of it.
It's especially remarkable how well you turned out when learning of your
family situation.

Your mother did the best she could under the circumstances and I am sure she blames herself for all of it when in reality, no one is to blame. Some teens turn out great, others not so, regardless of who the parents are.

There is really nothing you can do except hope that your sister will sober up one day. She is still too young to make an effort, so don't count on it anytime soon.

All there is for you to do is have an open door policy for your little brother should he need help and to be a terrific aunt for your little nephew. Hopefully he's in a very loving and stable home now and can thrive and be the kid he should be.

I also think that a lot of rehab centers are state/government funded and
their immediate concern is that funding won't stop. Helping addicts cope with reality once they're out of rehab is a necessity that is overlooked in most cases.

Thanks for sharing, crazielady, it took a lot of guts to do so. Your post is
very well written by the way and I hope your heavy load feels a bit lighter now.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Mon 18 May, 2015 09:24 pm
@CalamityJane,
Nods re CJane's take.
0 Replies
 
Crazielady420
 
  2  
Reply Tue 26 May, 2015 09:43 am
Thank you all for taking the time to read her story. Also thank you for your kind words. I'll come back later and respond to everyone more directly (working from home today).

Maybe someday I will write the book that I have been planning!
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 May, 2015 11:17 am
I have a half brother that turned to drugs at age 16. He always said things such as, "Grownups don't have the right to tell kids what to do," and "So, I get spanked when I do wrong. The pain goes away and I got to do what I wanted." He went off to move in with different friends, different times. I would eventually find him and bring him home. But in time he left for good and joined the Children of God. I have run across him from time to time, over the years. The last time I spoke with him, he told me his one desire for the future was to stay drunk and stoned all the time. I last saw him about forty years ago, but I occasionally get tidbits of news about him.
0 Replies
 
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 May, 2015 09:09 pm
Alcohol and drug abuse affects everyone in one shape or form. Alcohol has been one of the most destructive forces in my family, but we have been affected by drug abusers as well. My uncle James was a blackout drunk, he could have ruined my 1st cousin's life, but for reasons I don't understand but am grateful for, my cousin survived and made a wonderful life for himself, his wife and children.
I will try to talk about the drug problems later, drug addicted people cause a circle of misery as it expands and affects us whether we realize it or not. They lie, they steal, they do practically anything to prevent an interuption of their supply. They don't care if they bankrupt their elderly parents. One of my neighbors is 73 and dying slowly from kidney disease and related ailments. Her husband is 78 and is desperately trying to protect his wife, but they have a 43 year old daughter who is addicted to pain meds and still living at home.

Thats about all I can say right now, but because I got sucked into it before I was told she has several convictions for check fraud, illegal drug seeking (I don't know what the real charge is) and other offenses in several states. I didn't find out until her mother asked me to visit with her, while they are in Florida, then called to say how grateful she was......and then mentioned the daughter has a court date on June 5th and could be facing prison. However, she didn't tell me what the charge is because she doesn't want to violate her daughters confidence.

I can't continue with this, and I am offended that I was asked to help without being told what I was helping with. Im very sympathetic, but holy crap, I don't want to be sucked in. Crap.

0 Replies
 
Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Sun 21 Jun, 2015 09:25 am
Just an update, why not... haven't heard about my sister but, two days ago, my mother decided to go to court. She managed to get back custody. Showed up the my nephew's grandmother's house, no call, and took him back. I don't get it...... he deserves so much more.
0 Replies
 
Crazielady420
 
  2  
Reply Mon 27 Jul, 2015 02:16 pm
So it's almost been a little more than 2 months. My sister remains in FL and has started a new life, in a sense. According to her she remains clean. I do see her social media posts and snap chats. She is attending sober events so hopefully she is telling the truth. I can tell that she is still smoking pot though.... but I'd rather that than the other. She looks better in her pictures and seems happy.

Only time will tell.
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Jul, 2015 03:36 pm
@Crazielady420,
Let's hope she's on her way to getting sober. Does she have her son with her
in Florida? If yes, is there a support system in FL to help her out?
Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Jul, 2015 04:48 pm
@CalamityJane,
No my mother has him. If she is ever going to have custody of him it won't be for several years.
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Jul, 2015 09:28 pm
@Crazielady420,
Oh good, so he's in a safe place. That's important!
0 Replies
 
Ionus
 
  -3  
Reply Mon 27 Jul, 2015 09:55 pm
Quote:
My sister’s story- the life of a heroin addict.

I'm addicted to heroines . I used to love the way the Lone Ranger and Tonto pretended to be straight...or the Cisco Kid and Poncho...but really they were the first homosexual heroines . Well done, sisters !!
0 Replies
 
hawkeye10
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Jul, 2015 11:27 pm
The brother sounds awesome, thinking about and trying to help him is likely a much more sound endeavour then the sister.
0 Replies
 
Crazielady420
 
  3  
Reply Thu 1 Oct, 2015 07:23 pm
@Crazielady420,
Just an update. She's still in FL and clean (allegedly but she looks healthy). She was discharged from her program today and is moving into an apartment there with a friend that she made in the program.
glitterbag
 
  3  
Reply Sun 11 Oct, 2015 07:31 pm
@Crazielady420,
I'm not sure if I'm as savvy regarding drug addiction as I thought. My daughter-in-laws first cousin has had serious episodes of alcohol abuse, drug abuse and her parents have paid for rehab many times. I underestimated how serious her addiction is. She was supposed to be sober, but apparently she began using heroin while she was pregnant, her baby was born addicted. CPS became involved (of course) and now her parents have custody of the baby.

Her parents are supposed to be close to retirement, but obviously the baby needs a stable environment. They are devoted grandparents, limited income, but will be starting over with a 6 month old grand daughter. The daughter has checked herself out of rehab, and is living in a car with her boyfriend somewhere in Baltimore. I suspect there are outstanding warrants in AA county and that's one of the reasons she refuses to return. Recently, she and the boyfriend were arrested for solicitation in the City.

I realize I'm a little naive about heroin addiction, and I don't understand why a mother would relinquish her baby for any reason. But the reality is that this family is suffering because of the daughter's addition. It's so difficult for her parents, I think they are lovely people and I cannot imagine having to give up on a child. This young woman may be too far gone, I hope not, I just don't know. The entire family is pulling together to support the grandparents and the child. The baby's Uncle is an entertainer who cancelled all performances for the year to come home and help with the baby.

I suppose we do what we need to do, it makes me sad that these people are facing such a huge heartache. This situation doesn't give me the insight I should have, it's just a snapshot of misery that I wouldn't wish on an enemy.
Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Fri 16 Oct, 2015 05:51 pm
@glitterbag,
I'm sorry to hear about that. It's a tough thing to watch, knowing you are helpless in the situation. I hope things take a turn for the better. (((hugs)))
 

Related Topics

 
  1. Forums
  2. » My sister’s story- the life of a heroin addict.
Copyright © 2017 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.03 seconds on 10/17/2017 at 02:36:40