boyfriend of 2+ years doesnt want to move in together

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Currejtly i am dating a guy. I have been with him for a little over 2.5 years. It will be 3 years in october. I suggested to him to we move in together and his response was that he wont be allowed to and he really doesnt want to. I didnt dig deeper in this i just dropped it. But his reason behind not being allowed to was because of his parents. He is a 24 year old man with a stead well paying job and he is saying his parents wont let him? He jokingly braught it up to his pareny before and his dad said you live rent free so your not moving out. As to why he doesnt want to move out and get a place with me i have no clue, i started getting too upset and was about to cry so i didnt continue to conversation. But what i dont understand is we pretty much live together already, we stay at each others houses, we both have clothes in our own dressers at each others houses, and we know every nasty and annoying habit about eachother and we deal with it. We have had weeks where is parwnts or my parents would be away on vacation and it was like it was ike it was our own place, we went food shopping and took care of the animals and kept the house clean togetheR. I just dont know what is holding him back. Please help! What should i do??

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@sammylou2693,

Well, whatever you do, don't ask him what he meant by what he said.

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@sammylou2693,

sammylou2693 wrote:

he really doesnt want to.

you probably have to believe him when he says this.

He may think you can't take care of him the way his parents do. <shrug> Who knows why he doesn't really want to move out, but you have to believe him when he tells you that.

Could you move out on your own? have you ever lived independently?

This could be a good opportunity for you to establish yourself.

There is a slight chance that if he sees you doing well on your own that he may become more comfortable with the idea of leaving his parents' home.

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@sammylou2693,

sammylou2693 wrote:

As to why he doesnt want to move out and get a place with me i have no clue, i started getting too upset and was about to cry so i didnt continue to conversation.

he is the only one who knows - so if you want to know, you do have to have the conversation

and really, if you can't have that conversation, you're probably not ready for the relationship to go further.

___

I'd say go on with your own life. Get your own place, have fun with friends.

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@sammylou2693,

What's holding him back? Money probably! As his father said: he lives rent free at home. Moving in with you would mean shared expenses and he's not
willing to do so.

You probably should look for someone who is more committed to the relationship than your current boyfriend.

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@CalamityJane,

Or, live by yourself, as that can be useful re learning about yourself.

I've known people who haven't lived alone, ever, very old people.

Consider it.

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All good replies.
Let us know how it turns out

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Three years together and he's just 24?

No way is a guy that age ready to become a house mate with a gal who has marriage on her mind.

Sorry, but his dad is giving him his "way out" of making a commitment to you.

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@sammylou2693,

sammylou, I think he thinks its fun to play house every now or then, he just doesn't want to play house full time. Im sure he cares about you, maybe he's just not ready to make it permanent. Maybe he likes his parents house and really isn't ready for a starter apt. You didn't say how old you are, or if you're finished with college or even if you have a job. If you are expecting him to support you, Id rethink that. You need to make some money to be able to build a future.

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@sammylou2693,

Thank you every one. Me and him ended up talking a little later. He is worried about money and expenses.
I am going to get my own place (currently i am living with my parents-already paying rent- i have a great full time job and i am 22 for those of you who asked) i am going to find my own one bedroom apartment and i told him he is welcome to stay as often as he likes as he is now. But once i feel as if he is over my place 90% of the time (right now it is maybe aroynd 65%) we will have the discussion about moving in together again. I told him this and he agrees. And when that time comes we also agreed to stay at a new place together instead of my place so it can be bother of ours instead of him just moving in with me.
Honestly me and him have always has good communication and i freaked out before we actually talked about it Like i always do, but he noticed that i was upset and was such a sweet heart and took him time with how historical i was.
Once again thank you all so much for your advice!

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@sammylou2693,

That's wonderful.
Sometimes it helps to go ask strangers.

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boyfriend of 2+ years doesnt want to move in together

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