The Insult Chain Game

That hovel you're living in has an eviction order in place, you and your clan will probably celebrating X-mas in another card-board box.

I have an urgent meeting with my Financial Accountant today regarding the sale of one of my shopping centres.

You have an urgent meeting with him because your fraudulent business dealings have been uncovered and you have the law breathing down your neck. Your accountant will probably wind up your cell mate, so I hope you two crooks enjoy each other's company.

I keep forgetting to go pick up my new computer glasses.

(It's great having you back here to insult, Dutchy.)

OMG, do you really still believe that anyone believes you can read?????? All those years feverishly viewing flipper page porn in a dark room ruined whatever sight you had. Now you have to pay young men to describe in sickening slo mo all the seedy details you need to hear you toothless randy hag. These young men have to go to detox to rid themselves of the sound of your lascivious cackling over even the non dirty parts before they can even kiss their own mothers. You should be ashamed you perverted old bag, but I bet you aren't.

The weather channel is predicting a very cold weekend, I'd better stock up on the cocoa, mittens and Shirley Temple flicks. Ahhh, life is good

The only things you will stock up are porno movies you're going to watch with your Tomboy for a dirty weekend you wily old man eater.

I took my secretary out for her birthday dinner tonight.

Your secretary????? Odd, that's not how the tabloids described the half naked Trollope skipping thru the hotel lobby fountain until the police managed to shoot enough tranquil darts into her until she looked like a porcupine with odd featheration. I did read that an elderly man with two nurses kept screaming, you go girl, you go. (Even odder, that's starting to ring a bell, hmmmm)

Oh bother, Brad Pitt called an hour earlier and he's sending his plane for me. Apparently he and Angelina can't agree on the fabric for drapes in the Master Bedroom. We all know I love them like they are my own, but occasionally I need to be home redecorating the guest and servants quarters. God knows our bedroom could use a tad of sprucing up, but our Hollywood friends are so needy.

Hollywood, eh? Yeah, they could use some more crappy actors like
yourself. Just hope they haven't raised their standards, or a piece of
**** like you would'nt stand a chance against E.T. in a beauty contest. In fact, Jabba the hutt would flee from your nauseating stench. And in a stamina test, Hello Kitty would be your undoing.
For heavens sake, don't run for president, you'll probably fall down and hurt yourself.

Question: Who here hates Hello kitty? I think it should be renamed "Hello Shitty", but no one asked me…

I thought that, "Hello Shitty", was how people usually greeted you, and that couldn't be more apt.

I haven't finished shopping for what I need for Thanksgiving dinner.

You'd better hustle back to the dump, you cheap tart, as I heard there was a huge crowd headed that way. You'll be stuck with nothing to serve if you don't hurry. Of course, that might be preferable to your cooking and rotting food.

I finished all my Christmas shopping and mailing and am blitzing off to London for the rest of the week. David Cameron has invited me to dinner with the peerage.

Oh sweetie, you are such a good liar! With not even a tuppence to your name your idea of shopping is shoplifting and snatching items from the bags of the elderly. It's no wonder you are being deported to England, there's a tower there with a straw mat waiting for you.

My lawyer called earlier, and she scheduled an appointment for us to talk next Tuesday regarding difficulties I've been encountering with building management.

Actually, it's problems the other residents and building management have with you and your hoarded stuff (detritus) spilling out the windows and doors of your home. The stench is so bad nobody can sell their units.

I just booked a first class seat to London. I love living it up.

Where did your nastiness come from? I'm really shocked at the change I've seen in you since just last year!

The name of this thread is called the "Insult Chain Game." It's lots o fun and you will laugh your ass off. Sturgis is outta sight.

Aww Cube, you haven't read enough. If you like Sturgis, it's time to buy a clue. Send him fiddy cent and he will explain the nuances of insult game to you.

Well I've done my part to educate the uninitiated, sorry to load up Sturgis, but he's incredibly gifted when it comes to the gracious insult.

Stop flattering Sturgis we know you're after his body you perverted old wrinkled Siren.

My neighbour is cooking me dinner tonight as my partner is out of town.

Unfortunately she's the elderly one who has become quite confused, often putting cat food into her recipes, or making entire meals out of the feline fare. Good thing you're also so addled, you won't be able to tell. I hope your partner won't be too alarmed if you start meowing for a few days, she'll probably think you've just gone off your rocker...again.

I'm looking forward to watching the National Dog Show tomorrow, viewing it is a Thanksgiving tradition at our house.

So how did the dog show go, did you win first prize this year as you ran around the arena?

My accountant is concerned about my recent spending habits and advised me to try and get things back to the level that they should be for my income.

That's because of your grandiose and extravagant tastes, and your disconnection from reality The level of your income is barely above what you'd get from pan-handling, so you better stop racking up those credit card charges for beluga caviar and truffles, and see if you can even scrape together enough nickels to buy your dinner from McDonald's $1 menu, or to purchase some no-name peanut butter and jelly and some day old bread.

I had an unexpectedly delightful and pleasant meeting with someone today, having anticipated it might be far from pleasant.

Oh how nice, your parole officer was in a good mood and forgot to administer the drug test. Next time lay off the all night booze guzzling, and for Gods sake skip the raves. Hammered old Trollopes aren't always so lucky.

I think I'll update my will, I don't think I've set aside enough for The Sisters of Mercy.

Since the few pennies you have left are those you took from the stolen poor boxes over the last 50 years, it's not exactly a good deed on your part. Hopefully you will at least have removed them from the pickle jars which you use as piggybanks and rinsed off the brine.

The weather has warmed nicely today and still it's hard to enjoy because it's so overcast and grey. Maybe I'll take in a movie and dine out tonight to feel better.

That means sneaking into the theatre and stealing someone's popcorn, you cheap bum.

My car got an oil change today and it's -29 Celcius. Brrr!