The Insult Chain Game

No shop has anything to fit your decrepit old body with boobs hanging below your navel and an arse to put moby dick to shame.

My secretary complimented me this morning on my taut, trim and terrific figure.

Your secretary was looking at the gym instructor standing directly in back of you. I realize you pay him handsomely to guard you; but, let him have his compliments without hogging them for yourself.

I can't recall if I took 2 or 3 of these pills and am worried that if I took the wrong amount my sleep pattern will be disrupted. Maybe a cup of coffee will help...

What difference does a cup of coffee make, you always look like a zombie and death warmed up.

About to clinch a mammoth oil deal.

I wouldn't call buying a quart of oil for your rubbishy car a mammoth deal, you delusional loser.

Had a great time in Provence and about to head for the airport.

I wouldn't call buying a quart of oil for your rubbishy car a mammoth deal, you delusional loser.

Had a great time in Provence and about to head for the airport.

I wouldn't call buying a quart of oil for your rubbishy car a mammoth deal, you delusional loser.

Had a great time in Provence and about to head for the airport.

Siphoning oil from your neighbors fuel tank again you loathsome thief? Be careful not to leave a tell-tale pathway to your door again.

Last night I could have sworn there was a symphony of crickets out in the gardens in back of my building. Surprised me as I didn't know they'd be so deep in the city and in such numbers.


By the way Mame, I see you had too great a time...as in 1 too many bottles of red wine, judging from your multi posting,

(seriously glad you had a good time, have a safe trip home)

Hey That lush will be alright as long as she stays in her restraint chair. I'm not surprised that she over indulged, she will drink lighter fluid with an aqua Velva chaser. I guess every lush has a signature drink, but She has signature crates.
She needs to have a sign hanging on her neck that warns bystanders should refrain from smoking near her.

It's supposed to be lovely tomorrow, maybe I'll pick some fabric for bedspread, curtains, and accent pillows.

To much romping with your lotharios caused your bed linen to wear out prematurely you old maneater.

Will go to the pub shortly celebrating my successful oil deal today.

Big deal, you took some mineral oil and finally had a bowel movement, and that's enough of an excuse for you to celebrate by going to the pub and getting sloshed again, you hopeless lush.

I got my puppy a great winter coat to keep him warm when it's freezing outside.

Terrific, at least the dog will have a chance the next time you're stumbling around in a booze induced stupor, you hopeless lush.

I think I'll plant some tulip bulbs along side the drive way.

Think, that's as far as you will go, you're to lazy to do any manual work you 24 hour a day TV addict.

My neighbour rewarded me with a nice luncheon for finding and returning her pussy.

Oh, how special. I didn't know they took residents from sober living into the real world to eat at Denny's. I hope your guardians made sure you all got hosed down, removing the bedbugs, lice and fungus before they let you in with decent, law-abiding folks, you reeking pile of doggie doo doo,

I think my granddaughter will visit tomorrow, what suggestions do any of you grandparents have to entertain a 2 and a half year old girl child?

Even though I'm not a grandparent I can offer a suggestion. Don't hog all the toys to yourself this time. Let your granddaughter get to play with them for once instead of having her sit there watching you as tears stream down her face.

I have a doctor visit this upcoming Wednesday and wonder if I should inquire about some new and stronger pain medications.

Dear Sturgis, I'm having some difficulty imagining what's new and stronger in the knock-out drops and whoopy pill world live in. You must be at the head of the line at your Doc's office, giving him the same sob story every other happy pill popper insists is necessary for them. Good luck, hope he keeps his license long enough to bestow more high powered happy pills to you before you will have to start hitting the corners again.

I'm not sure how to spend my time tomorrow, should I plan for our 35th anniversary?

With your ugly looks, moby dick figure and lazy habits you're lucky to make it to 35, how does your hubby put up with such a failure?

The Lord Mayor and I took a day off from our demanding work load and went fishing on my 50 ft Cruiser.

That wasn't the Lord Mayor - that was the resident bum, and it wasn't a 50 foot cruiser, it was a leaky dinghy, but nice try to impress us all, you debauched twit.

My sister is visiting us for a few days. We had a lovely sushi lunch yesterday with a girlfriend.

So you two bimbos are looking for a bit of excitement over the next few days, pity you're way past your prime and couldn't score if you stood naked on a street corner!

My iron ore business is still growing with a large order from China yesterday.

Your job doing ironing in a Chinese laundry lasted only half a day because you burned too many shirts, so you're back to being a shiftless panhandler, you incompetent bum.

I just remembered something I must take care of today.

Yes like taking a shower you smelly goat and whilst you're at it fit yourself with a bra instead of going braless you old bag.

Heading into town for an important meeting.