The Insult Chain Game

@Dutchy,

Good for you. Glad to know you are going in to meet with your parole officer and to have your urine tested for drugs. No more slip ups or back to the pokey for you.

I'm thinking about getting a pizza for dinner tonight but am tossed between going with pepperoni and onion or with a standard Sicilian.

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*NUDGE*

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@Sturgis,

Well, it all depends on what the pizzeria throws out at the end of the night, doesn't it?

It's our third anniversary today

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@Mame,

Well congratulations Mame, surprised you made it after all your indiscretions, you Jezebel.

I have a tight schedule today with several very important meetings.

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@Dutchy,

Let's see, you have the psychiatrist at 9, the paranoia specialist at 10, the psychologist at 11, lunch in the asylum at 12, group therapy from 1-3, basket weaving at 4, another psychiatrist at 5... why, yes you do have a busy packed day with meetings you must keep to keep from being put back in the padded cell.

I was surprised when I unpacked my groceries and found I had a three pound package of ground beef, it seems unreal that I'd have bought such a large amount.

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@Sturgis,

You know just as well as I do that you didn't buy that large parcel of ground beef but stole it during your weekly food stealing sorties, you dude.

I'm flying to Brazil next week to inspect a new gold mine I purchased this week.

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@Dutchy,

Is that before or after you fly to Sweden to accept the Nobel Peace Prize, fly to England to be knighted by the Queen, and come to the U.S. to accept the Presidential Medal of Freedom, you delusional fruitcake?

I like to play word games to keep my memory sharp.

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@firefly,

Oh good idea, when you are a dunce you don't know if your picks are good or disturbing, but it prevents you from breaking into houses or stealing cars you unrepentant recidivist.

I'm looking forward to my airline tickets for the Nobel Peace Prize, I never in a million years thought my recommendation for Dutchy would actually be taken seriously. Who knew the Swedes had a sense of humor.

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@glitterbag,

All jokes aside I will be honoured by your presence. I was going to keep this quiet for the audiences here, but now that you let the cat out of the bag you blabbermouth, I like to know how you found out you nosy, prying, snooping eavesdropper.

I will donate the Nobel Prize cheque to my buddies so they can throw a real Aussie bush party.

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@Dutchy,

Just how much money you think you'll get for that cheap fake certificate you had printed off your computer and the fake medallion which is just a piece of gold foiled chocolate?

I got a brand new vacuum cleaner today, it's absolutely amazing. Bright red color and not too heavy. It should get a lot of use.

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@Sturgis,

No surprise here, I just hope you bought enough replacement bags, because the last I heard, the lint in your living room would fill a 55 gal drum, you lazy filthy upstart .

I think I'll head off to the salon, for a facial.

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@glitterbag,

Unless they can do a face transplant, nothing will help you look better.

I think it's going to be a great weekend.

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@firefly,

I know what you mean by a great weekend, tell me how many Lotharis you've lined up you insatiable Jezebel.

I can't get over my surprise how Glitterbag found out about the high honour about to bestowed upon me.

be
I can;t

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@Dutchy,

You're both inmates in the same asylum, glitterbag not only believes your grandiose delusions, she thinks she stars in them, and the only high honor you're likely to get is your own private padded room.

I love my new watch, I think it's very classy looking.

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@firefly,

You spend all your money on booze and are so poor you couldn't afford a classy looking watch, I suggest you obtained this one during your weekly shop stealing spree.

I took my secretary out dining tonight and spent $2500.00 on a 1965 bottle of Penfold Grange Shiraz!

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@Dutchy,

Liar! You bought her the cheapest plonk on the menu and now she's not speaking to you, you blithering old cheapskate.

It's my son's 30th birthday party tonight and I'm taking over some gyozas. Yummy.

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@Mame,

Don't show off big words for cheap Japanese dumplings bought at the Salvation Army market stall you tight arse.

I'm laughing the price of gold is going up daily.

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@Dutchy,

You laugh when a toilet flushes. You laugh at tomatoes in the supermarket. You're a brainless nitwit who laughs at everything.

There were three newspapers on my lawn this morning.

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@firefly,

What use are they, you can't even read you uneducated imbecile.

I spoke at length at my local Church this morning about the abysmal sexual behaviour of young people nowadays.

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@Dutchy,

You only find it to be abysmal because all the young hot ladies are being decent and not submitting to you lecherous ways...and hands.

I woke up rather late the other morning and was surprised at how darn tired I remained all day. When I see the doctor I may ask if she can prescribe me some energy tablets.

1 Reply

The Insult Chain Game

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