The Insult Chain Game

@Dutchy,

You need to leave those bothersome old bags alone in their misery.

Julie Andrews asked me to sing with her at Carnegie Hall, her voice is shot, I'll have to carry the whole performance. Bugger

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@glitterbag,

Don't kid yourself, the City Fathers won't even issue you with a buskers licence to sing in the main street for fear you scare all the birds away, you falsetto imposter.

My gold mining stocks rose dramatically today, contemplating of selling.

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@Dutchy,

So, big shot wheeler-dealer, you've finally gathered up enough empty beer bottles to return to the recycling bin to get back $1?

I'm planning to undertake a difficult job I've been putting off.

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@firefly,

You mean you're finally going to clean up your kitchen from all the junk piled up to your ceiling you lazy good for nothing.

Had a phone call from our new Prime Minister today, he wants me to come to Canberra and discuss the controversial mining tax with me. I got news for him, I won't buckle an inch.

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@Dutchy,

You're delusional, as usual. That wasn't the PM, it was your parole officer and he wanted to know why you didn't check in.

I just heard that a friend of mine has died.

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@Mame,

Don't get your hopes up too high. You ain't in that person's will. Heck don't forget the restraining order the family has against you if you have a notion to visit the funeral.

((ps: sorry for your loss mame, ((hugs))

I'm having trouble looking for a new place to move to and I have to move out of my apartment by the end of September.

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@tsarstepan,

You can always return to the cardboard shelter under the Brooklyn Bridge.

(thanks, tsar)

I have to walk my neighbour's dogs for the next ten days.

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@Mame,

That will do you the world of good you obese piece of lard, with a bit of luck you may even pick up a Lothario but don't hold your hopes to high, you're past it!

I'm having a garage sale at the end of the week, finally clearing out years of accumulated junk.

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@Dutchy,

Not a nice way to refer to your wife, bubba, and it's a wife-swapping, not a garage sale. And I'm sure they'll be no takers for the likes of you so prepare yourself and get a pizza on the way home (not that you need it).

I've got a really sore neck.

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@Mame,

You're such a pain in the neck, it's finally gotten to you too.

I paid a lot of bills today.

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@firefly,

You had no option as the Bailiff's were about to pounce on you and seize your hovel and kick you out, you eternal cheque bouncer.

I'm interviewing a number of ladies today for an additional secretary position.

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@Dutchy,

Do most people recruit "sex workers" for secretarial positions, and have the applicants undress and recline on a couch, the way you do, or are you the only creep in Australia that does that?

I voted in a primary election today, and I think the candidate I voted for will win the nomination.

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@firefly,

Surprised you were able to vote with your eyes so blurry from the booze you poured down your throat last night.

I got a new smartphone a couple of weeks ago and absolutely love it.

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@Sturgis,

It's a shame you're not smart enough to use that new phone. You still haven't figured out how to make or receive calls on it, you nitwit.

I'm watching a cooking show on TV and it's inspiring me.

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@firefly,

Inspiring you to do what, go to your neighbor's house and clean out all their food again you gluttonous woman?

I spoke with my attorney today and she advised me that things are moving forward in a positive direction and that we will be meeting on Thursday.

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@Sturgis,

Take the plea deal for 10 years, a jury would park a creepy embezzler like you away for 20-30, and, don't worry, no one will miss having you around.

It's such a beautiful day, I think I will go out for a drive. I might even take the puppy with me.

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@firefly,

If you can get your beat up old rust-bucket to start. Why not start taking care of your things, you loser? Your puppy's so neglected I think he's going to run away.

I'm off to Provence tomorrow Smile

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@Mame,

What poor sucker have you lined up to fleece of his money during your one night stand you insatiable siren?

I've extended my business by buying several deep sea fishing vessels.

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@Dutchy,

Is it really wise to fill up the bathtub to the very brim before putting your toy boats in? (then again was it wise to spend the insurance money on buying all those toy boats?)

I received a notice from my prescription drug plan saying that I owe them fifty cents because the bank rejected my payment. I am confused as to how this could have happened.

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The Insult Chain Game

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