The Insult Chain Game

Best to just waste as much power as you can because it's included in the rent, is that it?

I had my lights off at the appropriate hour. Of course, I was not home at the time.

Did the brothel turn out their lights during your visit?

A friend gave me a great idea today.

Now doubt how to avoid work you lazy couch potato.

I've just returned from a few days out of town.

No one here missed you.

I just fixed a problem with my laptop.

You had a senior moment and forgot to switch it on didn't you.

I baked a batch of hot cross buns for Easter.

They will be stale and moldy by Sunday. But you will force your guests to eat them.

I have been invited to help supervise an Easter Egg hunt.

Pray no one recognizes you in that ridiculous pink bunny outfit you'll have to wear. Too bad it doesn't include a mask, your ugly mug may scare the kiddies.

I used to enter Easter Egg decorating contests when I was a child.

You haven't grown up much you're still acting like a child.

About to sit down and have dinner consisting of delicious seafood.

"Delicious seaford"--Ha! Don't you ever get sick of eating those canned sardines on soda crackers?

I think I just ate too much ice cream.

So what, you look like a blown up Moby Dick anyway, no wonder they call you 6 ton Annie.

I will be doing some horse riding in the morning.

Everyone here is glad you euphemized your description of your latest attempts at S and M play. I know that I am.

If Duke wins its Final Four game Saturday then I win the a2k March Madness Competition.

Wow, that "win" would really be a life-changing event for you, wouldn't it? You're such a loser, you'd probably add it to your pathetically thin resume, stupidly thinking it would actually impress anyone in the real world.

I'm thinking of changing my hair color.

Not a bad idea, presently you remind me of Casper the grey ghost.

I still have a wonderful crop of hair, no artificial colouring needed.

Out of the five, three of them are still dark!

I have to maintain a one week growth of facial hair for an upcoming film role.

If you're playing another bum, it's perfect type casting. Just go as yourself.

I'd like to be an extra in a movie.

With a face and figure like yours you spoil the movie.

I received a lovely chocolate easter egg from my neighbour this morning.

Is that the woman they suspected of poisoning her husband with arsenic laced Christmas candy?

I'm about to hop into the shower.

Standing in the shower with your clothes on and the water turned off IS NOT the really taking a shower.

You need to be reminded to do the following as you seem to tend omit the following steps:
1. Turn on the water in the shower (hot and/or cold depending on your preference);
2. Remove and strip all of your clothing before entering the shower;
3. Stand under the water stream from the shower head;
4. Use soap and/or shampoo to clean yourself;
5. Rinse off the soap and/or shampoo suds;
6. Dry off your hair and body with a clean towel Then put on some clean set of clothing;
7. Comb/brush your hair.
~
It's spring and I just might walk around the city tomorrow (Sunday) and take photographs all day of my aimless journey.

Your past photos of pigeon droppings are about the limits of what you can do with your camera. "Aimless" really captures it. Psst, dummy, with a camera it helps to aim.

I'm trying a new recipe for Easter dinner.

You can't substitute marshmallow peeps for chicken or rabbit meat in these recipes. Not going to work.

This weekend is a great one for sports: The Final Four is tonight and the Red Sox season opener is Sunday.