Well, hurry up and get over to McDonalds. They're waiting to change the numbers from 1 billion to 2 billion served.
I was out in the sun all afternoon yesterday.
Contributing even more to your already wrinkled skin.
I am headed to Santa Barbara shortly for cocktails.
Panhandling for booze money is better there?
I have to unload the trunk of my car.
Been scavenging the local rubbish dump again have you.
Grilled myself a delicious T-bone steak tonight.
You made good use of that dead squirrel you found in the road. Don't bother to share your recipe tips.
I make a good cup of coffee.
Its called Irish coffee, full of alcohol, can't leave it alone, can you.
A relaxing evening tonight watching television.
Watching steamy sex on the adult channels is as close as you ever got to the real thing thing, you horny loser.
I never see my neighbors anymore.
Not since they put the shades up.
I suspect my next door neighbor of being in the CIA.
No doubt checking on your suspect behaviour and shady past.
Just fitted a water purifier in my kitchen.
Dutchy wrote:
Just fitted a water purifier in my kitchen.
Succinct
I may have a glass or two
Or however many it takes until the bottle's empty.
I just had a small glass of Baily's Irish Cream.
The last glass after you polished off the whole bottle you sot.
Cooking myself something special for dinner tonight.
Your usual Tuesday night can of chicken noodle soup, Emeril?
I met two delightful children today.
Hansel and Gretel. You tried to toss them in the oven but boy did they show you!
I am wearing a tie today for a few hours.
The funny bow tie that squirts water? Wow, it's a big night for you, if you're wearing that tie. This blind date will probably be just like all your others--she'll head for the first ladies room she sees and escape through the window.
My dog wants something from me, but I'm not sure what it is.
Why don't you feed the mongrel.
Washed and polished my car today.
Too bad you're not smart enough to get a license, so you could actually drive it.
I think I'll go out for a drive later.
The only thing you'll go out and drive, are people crazy.
Have to find a suitcase today.
Off to the penitentiary again?
Have a busy schedule today and won't be here much.
It would be even better if you weren't here at all.
I just did a voice over for a company cartoon.
