What's it called? Mountain Eew?
I don't feel like doing anything.
And that's when you're feeling ambitious!
I am growing a scruffy beard.
Not surprised, fits in with your scruffy character, you bum.
Due for a heft tax return this year.
Dutchy wrote:
Due for a heft tax return this year.
So many words, what a shame you can't string them together.
Think I might join a chat room without you.
Do that, you won't be missed here you pedantic struggler.
Time to realx, sit down and have a beer.
You just woke up! For you, beer really is a breakfast food, you lush.
I bought some bottled water today.
About time, your system needs a good clean after all that alcohol.
Having beautiful whiting fillets for dinner tonight.
There were rumors you've been eating canned cat food, but I didn't believe it until now.
I can be hard to please.
That's why you're still single. That and your face.
I have not played basketball in over a year!
*Good one Nick
No wonder, you're totally overweight, you obese piece of a human being.
Can pride myself in a taut, lean and terrific body.
Yes, you do keep your dog in great shape, he looks terrific. Your body, on the other hand, is a flabby, flaccid mess.
I'm going to a concert tonight.
"Papa Scrubs and the Blue Balls" concert. Have fun!
I can't decide which function to attend this evening.
That must mean it's the annual Open House Night at the old folks home and you can't decide between Bingo and the Lawrence Welk sing-a-long. Since you're tone deaf, try Bingo. If everyone else there falls asleep, as they usually do, you might even win. Enjoy your sizzling night on the town, it's about your speed.
I'm not sure what to wear tonight.
You're staying home tonight. Your usual mens briefs would be just fine.
I am going to the gym shortly
Don't bother, that scrawny body is beyond hope. Besides, I thought the owner told you to stay away because the sight of you was bad for business.
I received a present in the mail today.
Probably your underwear you left behind during your last besotted one night stand.
Seeing some friends off at the airport today.
After they cut short their visit because they couldn't take being around you any longer.
I haven't taken in my newspaper yet.
Don't worry about being seen by your neighbors, they're avoiding you.
Making a to-do list for a vacation.
So far it reads "Get drunk".
I will be vacationing in Nevada in a few weeks.
So they finally picked you up for violating your parole in Vegas.
I haven't eaten breakfast yet.
