You know how to spell cleaned?
I can spell it,,, if i could only do it!
We all know you are a filthy slob, you needn't remind us.
I just did a load of shopping.
You mean you've been on one of your regular shop-lifting tours, you kleptomaniac.
I'm going to have a hair cut this morning.
Bad idea--if you cut that mop people will be able to see your face.
I'm trying to decide what to make for dinner.
You have any room left for dinner, you've been eating all day you grossly obese slob.
Just consumed a healthy breakfast.
If you consider 12 pounds of bacon and grease with 30 pancakes and syrup 'healthy'.
I skipped breakfast this morning.
That's because the soup kitchen kicked you out for lewd behavior.
I just received a lovely gift.
Who did you con this time you two-timing scheming jezebel.
Going out with a couple of friends tomorrow night and looking forward to it.
Are these the same "friends" who always run up a huge bar bill and stiff you with the check? No wonder they invite you to join them, you jerk.
I am thinking of getting a new printer.
Steal it from a reputable store.
I don't have a printer,,, i have nothing except teeth that hurt.
Quote: i have nothing except teeth that hurt.
That's what happens when you keep putting your foot in your mouth--both figuratively
and literally, you dummy
I am going to have some lemon tarts with strawberries for dessert.
Not again, do you ever stop stuffing yourself, look at you, moby dick.
Going shopping in a short while.
Your nightly trip to the liquor store for another quart of gin, you boozer. Your brain must be completely pickled by now.
I think I deserve to be treated like a Queen.
Maybe like Marie Antoinette or Anne Boleyn.
My son has been sick all day.
Did he get a good look at his mom?
I know that makes me sick sometimes.
Here's Y~
If you were any more clever you'd be a mortician.
I saw some celebrities at the Ralph's Supermarket in Malibu yesterday.
So, that's where your favorite porn stars shop. And I bet you drive 10 miles out of your way just to get a look at them with their clothes on.
I am taking next week off from work.
I'll bet every week is next week to you!
I don't have a job that pay's me money.
A pity ... some prostitutes get paid top dollar.
I'm drinking iced green tea.
Sure you are...and you've already downed several large glasses since lunch. I believe that this is how you make it...
Green Tea Vodka:
1 cup vodka
2 gunpowder green tea bags or 2 tablespoons loose gunpowder green tea
Place both tea bags into the vodka. Cover, shake, and let steep for 2 hours. Remove and discard the tea bags.
Aren't you embarrassed about staggering out of your office every day, or are you too far gone to feel any shame?
I think I need another air conditioner in my house.
