Pissed to the eyeballs as usual, will you ever learn you drunken sot.
May go fishing later on today.
Mind you don't catch something Dutch.
I've a busy day tomorrow. Seriously.
That would mean getting out of bed, something you loathe.
The gardener will be here Saturday to help me do some planting
Planting some 'pot' plants, you need help with that you lazy good for nothing.
The coming weekend is going to be very special for me.
That must mean the local catering hall is hosting a wedding, and you'll be in hog heaven foraging in their dumpster for your Sunday dinner.
I just bought a funny birthday card for a friend.
You open the card and it explodes sending your friend to the hospital. Such a jokester!
I am doing a voice over for an industrial cartoon today.
When it will be released, the company will file for chapter 11..
Feeling like I've a cold..
That's cocaine withdrawal, you druggie, you need a fix.
Some men just cleaned the gutters on my house.
What did you do for them in return?
I may be going on strike again soon!
A vagrant going on strike? Against what--working?
I am glad today is the longest day of the year.
When you're around it makes the day seem even longer.
A Mockingbird is keeping me up at night.
You mean a cheap floozy you picked up in a low down downtown bar somewhere.
Can't wait until Sunday is here when I'll meet some old friends.
Getting together for drinks with the guys you met in prison?
I woke up in a really good mood today.
But the moment you stepped out of bed you became your usual crab-like self.
I went out to the Channel Islands overnight.
In your dreams, you mean, since you're too broke to go anywhere.
I'm watching a Home Improvement Show.
You're wasting your time, your hovel is beyond improvement you hill-billy.
Are best friends are coming for dinner tonight.
You want them to have special treatment. Get out your best paper plates (the unused ones) and the assorted flatware you've pilfered from various restaurants. If your friends are like you, using napkins is probably beyond their range of experience.
I'm going to the eye doctor today.
So you can see what people are talking about for a change?
I didn't go to the dentist today.
You never go to the dentist, that's why your breath smells like rotting sewage.
I think I will wear something new today.
About time, people are sick of seeing you dressed in old rags.
I cleaned my computer room today.
