A pork pie and a pint of four X
Explaining to a policeman how I never did it!
You look guilty to me, man. And I've been dead for 30 thirty years.
I used to have a pet turkey named Bowtie.
Some one should have told that turkey, man, just be yourself and done hang around that goose.
Preparing a lovely meal of marinated prawns for tonight.
A coconut sauce I gather.
I'm thinking eye fillet of beef and such.
and such that's just about all you can afford
My BBQ prawns turned out beautiful have enough left for another delicious meal tomorrow.
If they'd been really good they'd all have gone. Old prawns give you very bad stomach aches.
I have just had a delicious plate of steamed asparagus with butter.
I'll bet you're sitting on the toilet now as a result.
Intending to do some painting tomorrow.
Procrastination is the thief of time, and it's YOU that put the Crass in it.
I'm looking forward to a good workout in the water.
Better put you life jacket on or you weight may pull you under.
Enjoying a rum and coke and some party treats right now.
It must be close to noon!
My trip to Amsterdam has been delayed
You'll be safe then Nick, you'd never hack it there!
I always stay at The Tulip Hotel in Dam Square.
Is it dammed because you were there?
Dammed people can be fun.
Bet it's funny when you look in a mirror.
I bought a rooster today!
Are your chooks getting randy?
Going to feed Felix, my neighbour's cat, shortly.
A friend will be good for you...even if you do have to bribe it.
Off to a meeting...
You mean to the old spinsters knitting club
Buying a pair of new shoes this morning
It'll feel different not being barefoot all the time.
I may smoke some marijuana this weekend.
Obviously you don't know that smoking even one marijuana cigarette is equal in brain damage to being on Bikini Island during an H-bomb blast.
Playing a game of indoor tennis tomorrow.
So that's the current euphemism is it? Indoor sports...
Introducing two good friends of mine later today.
Is your dog going to be mated at last.
After the tennis a sauna and a rub down tomorrow.
