Yes, especially if your wife catches you! Perhaps rent a hotel room this time.
A screenwriter friend is flying here from Boston to meet with me.
He's obviously seeking inspiration for his next porno horror flick.
I had to have my car towed last week.
That piece of scrap should have been towed away years ago.
(Hi Firefly, nice to see you and a merry xmas)
I have a mother of a hangover.
Finished off the whole can of beer this time I guess.
I have just returned from a wonderful weekend in Nevada.
It couldn't have been that wonderful - I wasn't there.
I am looking forward to Thursday.
Yes, your typing is SO much more legible on your non alcohol day. We look forward to it as well.
I've just met some people I haven't seen in YEARS!
That's because they've been avoiding you, rather successfully, I might add.
I just ate a bagel with cream cheese.
You found your dentures then!
I'm just about to take my dog for a walk.
And here I thought you English called it "having a wank."
I'm drinking oolong tea.
Is that what you're calling your cheap scotch these days?
My neighbour has the foulest breath.
Mame wrote:
My neighbour has the foulest breath.
Is that the one you're always french kissing?
My underwear keeps riding up.
In understand pink frilly thong panties tend to do that.
I have a bit of sore throat.
It was that fancy dress party wasn't it. Told you that you shouldn't have gone as Linda Lovelace.
I'm really wanting a beer right now.
Another one?????
I'm looking for a new job.
Heavenly Hands massage parlour closing down is it?
I think I shall make some bolognese tonight.
Which for you means slapping a piece of bologne on some bread and calling it "dinner."
I've been listening to Harry Chapin all morning.
I'm sure he's thankful he's not listening to YOU!
I am meeting with Groucho Marx son this afternoon.
Going after another hand out?
I'm thinking about where to go for lunch.
Fancy a change of dumpster, do you?
I'm eating chocolate.
I hate to tell you but that brown mass you found on the ground isn't chocolate...
I just enjoyed a blueberry bagel wtih creamcheese.
