I'm surprised you can make it to the water with a couple of tanks on your back!
I had a nice trip out today, nice weather, very nice lunch and a gorgeous barmaid!
Too bad you had to leave that lovely place and go back to your rainy home with lousy food and atrocious wife.
I shall be flying to Chicago on Sunday for five days.
Enjoy your indoor surroundings while working in Chicago for those five days.
I bought some really thoughtful gifts for my family this year.
Big deal. You know you're adopted, don't you?
My cat sure does pee a lot these days.
That would explain the stain around the inside rim of your hat.
My husband cooked dinner this evening.
I feel sorry for your husband if he has to cook to get a decent meal.
I am going to have lunch shortly, hows about a big bacon muffin with a slice of black pudding and an egg?
The only insulting thing to say about that is 'give us half of that muffin, Mathos, you greedy bastard!'
I'm going to hand wash my smalls.
x
Your smalls? Ah, you lives in a house full of dwarves.
I shall be meeting some friends for cocktails this evening.
Translation: I'm going to the tranny bar tonight!
This nasty cold I have just won't go away.
You need a bit of lead in your left ear, it cures all ills, do wanna borrow my gun?
I think I shall treat Sunday like a holy day tomorrow and rest up!
What's your excuse for resting up the other six days?
I seem to have misplaced my cell phone and I feel naked without it!
The LA idiot lost his phone and he's naked, like a fool, so he pulled his foreskin over his head, and yodelled down his tool!
My wife is roasting an organic leg of lamb tomorrow.
Spiked with that pulonium stuff I suspect.
I am in Chicago and it is bitter cold here.
The 'Windy City' rather apt for your disposition i would have thought.
I got saturated earlier today, again; I think England has been moved into a rain forest hemisphere.
Look on the positive side....just count it as your monthly ablutions and think of all the money you've saved on hot water.
My new TV is being delivered tomorrow.
Finally decided to trade in the black and white? Now you can watch both English channels in living color!
I just went for a quick walk in the snow. Not as bad as I'd thought.
You are an ugly bastard, snowing or not.
I am beautiful
If you're beautiful, I'd hate to meet your ugly sister.
I've just eaten.
Another plate of boiled beef and cabbage I suppose.
I need a canoe judging by the state of things outside.
Perhaps you are just starting to realize you live in a swamp.
I am told I have no regional accent.
