Oh, they've finally stopped using stone tablets?
I voted early.
...and often.
Palindromes are fascinating.
So are Paleozoics, but that doesn't mean you have to spend all your free time fantasizing about them.
Green looks good on me.
It looked better off of you.
I'm arguing with Dookie again.
You must be a real prize to live with.
I was just on the scary dreams thread.
You mean I wasn't dreaming? You really are scary!
My golf game is in the dumper.
That's what everyone calls you, 'The Dumper' especially when your not around.
My a@@ hurts.
Must be all those lap dances you give out.
I need a haircut.
You need more than that.
My oldest sister is SO verbose! She won't stop talking, can't get her off the phone, HELP!
I think I dated her once. I knew of only one solution....
I'm having a Coke.
Half oz. or 8 ball?
I haven't been exercising.
Is that why you went with the muumuu look?
I need a beer.
The coke wasn't enough?
I don't drink beer.
"Guzzle" actually does mean drink.
I'm watching election returns.
Your only watching the election returns because Sesame Street isn't on right now.
I'm not watching the election returns.
So Sesame Street came on after all?
I'm tired of elections.
Why is it that tiring? All you do is write down the next set of brave souls who'll try to improve the nation's conditions... You probably don't know how to hold a pen then.
I think that elections can be totally boring--but most of the time they're a colosal waste of money.
They certainly are wasted on people like you who are too drunk to get to the polling place.
I know who won the election.
Madame Zolba's Instant Poll is not a reliable source.
Thank God I decided to go to sleep instead of staying up and watching the returns.
True, there's nothing new under the sun or in the white house - go back to sleep now, possibly forever.
There's good TV on tonight
