Elevensies? Is that what you have right before twelvsies and after tensies?
I watched Smallville last night.
Were you peeping through your neighbour's curtains again?
I would like to go sailing.
We'd ALL love it if you went sailing.
My ex-girlfriend from Arizona called me last night.
What'd she want - more abuse? Masochist!
I'm eating a peach for breakfast.
Really? What's her name? Does her husband know?
I need to get some more wine.
You sure do, you drunken sot - you're making sense!
One of my friends has the worst possible breath!! ack
Your friends breath was fine until he kissed YOU!
I have two credit cards.
Been out mugging again?
I've just written a long email.
Oh, the humanity!
I just set up my new monitor.
What is it, another peephole and tape recorder? You pervert!
I'm about to go into a meeting.
Mame "I'm about to go into a meeting. "
Which step are you on now?
I'm fumbling with something big and heavy.
You can't get the ladies interested that way, that's just pathetic. Perhaps you'd better drop the sofa on your toe to get sympathy.
My modem is working a treat now.
Does that mean I can finally send you that porn link you wanted?
I've fixed it!
You mean your Y-fronts close now? Ahahahahah - put your pecker away!
My boss is on the phone.
You haven't got it stuck up there again, have you?
It's working fine now.
That Viagra sure works doesn't it?
I take a multi vitamin daily.
Wow that is riveting news, Nick. So unusual and exciting. I can hardly keep awake.
My student lodger has been worried about losing his job.
I guess he's not satisfying you, eh? Perhwsps his job "performace" would improve if you weren't so butt-ugly.
I'm looking for a new marijuana supplier.
Exhausted all the existing sources?
I have to buy some groceries now.
Buy, why, have you stopped the shoplifting antics then?
I stopped at a farm shop for some shopping today!