What a treat. It's all junk mail and threatening notices from bill collectors. Who else would write to you? If they haven't turned off your electricity yet you might even be able to read some of it.
I just took a beautiful roast chicken out of my oven.
Two overdue bills does not constitute a mountain and requires no sorting, you eejit.
I won $250 at the racetrack this afternoon.
shite, pipped!
Was that the 5 yr old fryer you got for free from your neighbourhood food bank?
I'm a little bit hungry.
You just finished a huge 6 course meal and you're still "a little bit" hungry? You are truly a world-class glutton. No wonder you've been banned from all of the "All You Can Eat Buffet" restaurants in Canada.
I believe a good breakfast is very important.
Is that so that your stomach doesn't rumble, during your appearance at Court for soliciting?
My mantle clock seems to have stopped.
And you're dumb enough to believe that time is now standing still.
Your boss won't buy that excuse when you don't show up for work today, and unemployment will leave you with a lot of time on your hands. Maybe you can use some of it to learn how to change clock batteries, you twit.
I'm about to take a shower.
And not a moment too soon. When was your last - a couple of months ago, you vile-smelling creature.
My boss is sending us all to Vegas on a 'retreat' in November.
Don't get mistaken for one of those skinny Coyote things if you go into the desert, Mame.
I mowed the lawn last night, now I think I'll re-plant my bulbs.
Do you even know what you're doing in the garden, dearie?
One of my sisters is coming to visit me on Wednesday for 5 days.
HA!
Do you think the men in white coats will take your straight jacket off for those days?
I'm getting a cold beer from the fridge.
tsk tsk tsk... how many does that make it this morning? An even dozen?
We're going to visit Chinatown some time during her visit.
Of course you will. You have to pick up that big shipment of "China White" heroin.
I am flying off to Massachusetts on Thursday for 4 days.
You can run, but you can't hide. The Sheriff will be waiting for you at the airport when you return.
I am cutting back on the number of days I work.
What? You work less days than Santa, as it is!
I'm off to bed now
All alone and stinking of garlic.
I'm pretty tired myself.
Yes, those bags under your eyes could carry my whole weeks shopping.
Right, I must shake a leg.
Dribbled a little urine again?
I'm getting up early in the morning.
OH? Prison Officers nowadays let you sleep in 'til nine.
Right, I'm outta here.
(g'night, gd)
The neighbors dont like you sneaking around their house using their computer.
I have missed everyone.
...and WE'VE missed you!.... Who ARE you, by the way?
I'm going for a walk in the mist.