What a relief--I thought you'd never get out of here. I hope your endless eating and drinking keeps you too busy to come back.
I just don't feel like cooking any more.
That means your husband will be able to go out and eat something GOOD for a change. I'll bet he's smiling!
I am enjoying a terrific glass of port.
Have you told your AA sponsor about this?
I've just been packing for a naughty weekend.
Going to camp out in the backyard without mommy's permission? Don't forget your flashlight and jar of peanut butter, you naughty boy.
I have to check my lottery tickets.
You buy 2,000 of them a week. So far you've won $5.00 and a free ticket.
I only play the lottery when the jackpot goes over $100 million.
And then you cry like a baby because you've lost all that money, you jerk.
I think I am very well-dressed.
Yes but you admire the rag-wearing homeless lady pushing the shopping cart for her high fashion sense.
I prefer the casual look.
In other words, scruffy and stained.
I like to wear classic clothes that never date.
Your clothes never date because you never date. Who in their right mind would ask you out on a date?
I just had some delicious bean soup.
Shame you didn't choke on it.
I'm just gonna watch a bit of telly tonight.
Your usual evening alone in front of the telly--eat an entire pizza, drink a whole bottle of wine, and pass out on your couch by nine. But that's your morning routine as well, isn't it?
I am trying to make an important decision.
It must be really hard for you to decide which colour underwear to put on.
Think I will go to the pub with friends tonight.
They won't be friends much longer if you drink like a fish, tell them you forgot your wallet, and stiff them with the check again, you deadbeat lush.
I just finished my shopping list.
Well pay for it this time, your a bloody nuisance with all that pilfering.
I am dining out this evening.
Alone again I take it 'cos nobody likes you?
I hate Sunday evenings.
Actually there will be four of us, a nice Sunday roast, nothing else required, back for about eight and relax, do you want to come?
How dare you insult me like that! (yes please I'm really hungry)
OK wait outside Old Trafford and I will pick you up about 6.30, can you remember that?
I don't do Old Trafford, I'm a Blue
You must have been dropped on your head in Blackley when you were a baby, do you remember that?
