you look and smell like an exhaust, too!
done with my big talk!
Time to wake up the audience!
What color goes best with my eyes?
Puke green. Its the only thing that would make them look good in comparison.
Early morning, and almost November.
The early morning sun is reflected in your... nope, sorry, your eyes are just bloodshot.
Almost 2:00 a.m. and my life is so full that I insult people to have human interaction.
Boasting again - anyone would think you're any different from the rest of us.
I've turned down a job co-authoring a book on high society in the Far East in the 1920s.
I'm not surprised you fell for that SPAM e-mail
I think everyone should vote
You mean choose between the unspeakable, the dishonest, the fatuous and the inept? What a choice!
I'm going to lunch in the Abbey Inn, Buckfast.
What time does Walmart open?
I bent a tine on my new pitchfork.
How was the poor woman feeling?
Silk is wonderful next to the skin.
How did you manage to find incontinence panties made of silk?
I wonder how many trick or treaters will come around today
Take the amount you mugged last year, subtract the number that have learned from the experience, then factor in estimated newcomers to the neighborhood.
Should I wear a pirate costume?
If you think it'll make you look like Johnny Depp, think again. More like Rodney Dangerfield.
Cheeseheads should all be pushed over the edge of a high cliff.
While attached to men like you.
I had a lovely day.
Halloween is the one day you actually look normal without needing a ghoulish costume--I'm sure everyone admired your mask, even though you weren't wearing one..
I'm baking right now.
Don't forget to pass out Rolaids afterwards.
I'm going to eat some more candy.
You'll make yourself sick; then again, why should you treat yourself any differently from how you treat everyone else?
Off to have lunch with the in-laws.
The same ones who tried to poison you last time?
I came in late today.
Better than not showing at all.
I'm staying with a friend.
Evicted again?
I had a pretty easy day.
