(which one?)
I hope you learn something, like CRIME DOESN'T PAY!
I should probably do the dishes.
Why bother? The sink is heaped up high, and your counter-tops are covered with dirty dishes, but you still have room for more if you start piling them on the floor. Your house is so filthy I don't think anyone will even notice more of them.
I am cooking my dog's dinner.
(King of Clubs - the ads are on now)
You won't know which is yours and which is the dog's - suppose it doesn't matter really.
I like Poirot, David Suchet is perfect in the part.
I wondered why you have been wearing that ridiculous mustache, now I know, you're a Poirot groupie. I hate to say this, but you look better with it, it covers part of your face.
I want to see the movie "Rent".
Can't find anyone to go with you?
I was just looking at real estate for a friend.
Looking over the vacant lots for a place where the two of you can set up your cardboard houses?
I have been eating more yogurt lately.
Moved your spot to outside the wholefood shop, perhaps. You could probably get a few organic sprouts as well.
I think I shall wear trousers to my internet date.
Just make sure you iron them this time...
I can't stand the rain...
I don't wonder. Your cardboard hut has crumbled, your possessions in your stolen shopping cart are soaked, and panhandling in the rain won't get you enough for a cup of coffee. I guess you'll resort to shoplifting and hope you're lucky enough to get yourself into a nice dry jail.
I have to change a light-bulb now.
Do you have the instructions all written down and at least three other idiots to help you?
I went to a hilllbilly function Saturday.
An incestuous family reunion again?
The view from my office window is gorgeous.
It looks into the mens locker room.
I like Colorado but I'd never want to live here.
They don't want any more bum squatters there, either.
There's a cruise ship outside.
Most peculiar considering you are 30 miles from the water. You better jump on before it sails!
I'm going jet skiing over Labor Day.
Is that soon? Hope so 'cos your irritating me.
Just got my pyjamas on.
Are they peach and black, by any chance?
I don't think I'll bother going to bed tonight...
All that cocaine really makes you feel pumped up, doesn't it?
I just received a large check in the mail.
Do you really think you should be opening your rich neighbour's mail? They only asked you to feed the cat!
I'm putting up a tent in the backyard...
You want the whole neighborhood to know your wife's kicked you out of the house again?
I think I'm coming down with a cold.
Go home then, before you give it to anybody else...
I feel rejuvenated by the scents of approaching Autumn...
