That's right, popcorn, hot dogs, cola, swill down that fattening food and stick on another 2 lbs a day.
My nails have got dry and brittle and I'm tempted to bite them.
I'm sure they would taste better than your cooking.
I no longer crack my knuckles.
So you only have the other crack habit to beat.
I have to drive some people to the restaurant at lunchtime.
That's the least you can do, given that they all became ill after that dinner you cooked last night. You don't expect them to eat at your house again, do you?
I am thinking of buying new dining chairs.
Make that chair, singular. We all know you have no friends to eat with.
I had lunch with 10 nice people in a pub on Dartmoor.
Crashing a family dinner again? How sad.
I think I'll paint today.
Your face, I hope, it needs a bit of covering up after last night's excesses.
I am going to meet a date from the internet tomorrow.
Be sure to wear some deodorant, dear; you've been particularly vile-smelling lately.
I've got to telephone the builders.
Be sure to do it when hubby's out, he doesn't want to hear your odious come-ons to the builder.
I am getting hungry posting all those lovely foods on the A-Z of Everything thread.
It will give you something to dream about when you chow down on the franks and beans at the Women's Shelter tonight. But at least you'll be sleeping indoors, for a change.
I am making coconut crusted Talapia for dinner tonight.
Aren't talapias those African fish that eat just about anything? Yeuch.
I shall get some trusty pasta and bolognese sauce.
Food! Food! Food! Can't get enough of it, can you?
I'm reading a good book right now.
You always loved that Dick and Jane book, even though you don't know how to read most of the words. Do you still point at the pictures and say, "See spot run"?
It is pouring here.
Well, get out and have a shower in it - it'll be the first time in months, you smelly old thing.
I like listening to R&B.
Rudeness and Bad language? How typical!
I prefer classical music to pop.
"Itsy Bitsy Spider" and "The Farmer In The Dell", your favorite tunes, are not considered classical music.
I am going to gather up some laundry.
Your torn and dirty jeans don't really have to be gathered up, just peeled off. But make sure you still have that holey sarong to wear when you go down to the river with them.
I have a nice glass of wine at my side.
Wine again? Good Lord - I do believe you're a sot! And didn't we already discuss the fact that GALA KEG is not considered GOOD wine?
My daughter is coming out to visit at Christmas.
It's good to hear that your daughter is now out on parole. Too bad she can't make the trek to see you in prison more often, but those who commit the worse crimes are always put into the most remote, out-of-the-way facilities.
I really need a vacation.
You've said it! Anyone who can go on drivelling like that is either for the health spa or the loony bin.
I am going to watch an episode of Poirot.
