You shouldn't mix alcohol and quaalude "treats".
I have to lose 5 pounds in the next 2 weeks.
Yeah, slipping down the front of your shirt, you slob. Ah, but who'd notice??
I am now listening to Cesaria Evora...
That'd be 5 pounds off your face, wouldn' it?
I like Bob Marley, too. Did you know he was dead? (just kidding!)
I suppose you think it's funny to laugh at dead people.
My niece has had a baby but she's called it Dylan.
Why is there a BUT in there?
I like to play cribbage.
Pity you have to play it alone, saddo.
I think the name Dylan is outdated.
You actually think? wow.
(it's over-used, that's for sure)
My daughter named her son Oliver.
So her surname was Twist, was it?
My sons have got very unusual names.
Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee?
My hair is short and curly...
So is Miss Piggy's.
I can outrun most 20-year-olds.
20 yr old crippled up dogs, maybe!
I'm hungry!
That would be your 9th meal today
I just finished a chocolate pudding
And everything else that was in your fridge and cupboard, you glutton. Going to rent a U-Haul truck for your next trip to the supermarket?
I think I am very creative.
at finding outdoor sleeping spots for the homeless, maybe...
I'm watching a British tv show "A Place in the Sun"
I guess the British attendant gets to control the TV in your asylum day-room.
I have been watching home decorating programs.
That is so pathetic. Not having more than a shack made of beaten out kerosene cans, you dream of million dollar makeovers to your kitchen. That's what they call the American dream, I suppose.
I finished up my homemade fish paté for breakfast today.
Amazing what you can do with those fish heads you find in the fishmonger's dumpster. Although that last batch you took home smelled so bad, even the stray cats passed them up.
I am thinking of taking a class in watercolors.
(Did somebody mention stray cats?)
I think fingerpainting would be more your speed.
It'll soon be time to plant my autumn flowers.
Your usual "autumn flowers"? Dirty plastic chrysanthemums stuck in an empty coffee can?
My dog doesn't want to eat her dinner.
That's because you made it. She doesn't want to be the next addition to the pet cemetary in your back yard.
I'm going to have some popcorn.
