Stop with the crack, you drug addict.
I made canelloni for dinner tonight.
New from Chef BoyRDeee! Canellonni!
A millionaire female interior designer is pursuing me as a potential mate!
You'll never pull it off. She'll suss you're a girl
There's no food in the fridge again...
Stop locking the mice and cockroaches in with the pies.
I still want to meet NickFun, the movie actor - I wonder what his real name is.
I'm surprised you havn't found out - pretty poor sort of a stalker arn't you?
Ah, well, time to polish my medallions
Plucked from the necks of your children, no doubt.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't so damn beautiful.
Uh, do you call covered in boils, warts, pimples and pus beautiful? O-kay then!
My boss is in New Yawk for the day.
Anything to avoid Mame, he's thinking. Even knowing that she'll be skiving more than ever, writing inanities on A2K.
I'm trying to motivate my son to write his dissertation.
You couldn't motivate a person in a coma to stay there!
I've been given some exciting tasks at work lately.
I guess cleaning the board room as well as the lavatories is kind of thrilling. And replenishing the vending machines? Wow!
I am going out to dinner to celebrate a friend's birthday.
You have a friend? Ha! You talking about that loser lunatic who stalks the streets raving at the top of her lungs?
I'm about to head for the Salad Loop for lunch myself.
Those "all you can eat" salads won't help you lose weight if your there for several hours and 27 servings.
I just had a tiny snack for lunch.
What's a tiny snack to you would feed an average family of four!
I hope it snows this x-mas...
Translation: "I hope my cocaine supplier comes through this weekend".
I will probably spend Christmas in Florida this year.
Family told you to piss off again?
Just going to make myself a nice cup of tea.
Bet you can't hum and dunk the tea bag at the same time, you twit. That's much too complicated for you.
I ordered a part for my car today.
Too bad nobody likes you enough to fix it for you.
I'm freezing in this office!
Did you not know that before you came to work, so that you could wear something sensible instead of shorts and a singlet?
I just spent £100 on dinner for me and three friends.
What could you possibly spend 100 pounds on for homeless people????
My husband is in the doghouse today!
What in your house?
Gotta get up early in the moning.
x
