Try decreasing your ass now!
On Saturday our kitchen will be torn apart.
I think that would be a good thing, you would save humanity from you terrible cooking!
It's kind of cold here today...
You could put a shirt on. Please. Pretty please.
Must make an appointment to shave my back.
Yea you need a good back shaving, you look like a freakin yetti
I have to go home now...
Nah give it up, they'll never let you in.
I'm procrastinating again.
Whew! For a second there I thought you said, "I'm procreating again."
I'm no brat, but I learned to read, too.
<tell me about it!>
well, you can always take a break from procrastinating by 5 minutes of work!
i got 12 pages done, not much at all.
You'd make better progress on your romance novel if you didn't break every fifteen minutes to masturbate.
I'm wearing new socks.
Red Hot Chilli Peppers tried that before you. Hope you got baby socks though, otherwise they tend to fall off!
My basil is dying.
No, it just smells that way (and you really shouldn't name a bodily function "Basil").
Evian is "naive" spelled backwards.
I cannot believe you figured that out. What are you smoking?
I actually have size 12 feet.
Flintstone feet.
I'm going out to eat tonight.
Must be a full moon.
We don't have any pets.
Unless you count the dead ones.
I have the IQ of a genius.
in the trunk, i bet.
i got a big bouquet of spring flowers.
Too bad you didn't get them in the spring.
Add dead flowers to the compost heap.
Someone got a great deal on those.
My athlete's foot finally cleared up.
after you, george. you go on the bottom of the heap.
whole foods is not as pricey as i thought it would be.
I thought I saw you there today. Wasn't that you being felt up by the stockboy in the frozen foods aisle?
I like my steak rare.
And your [censored] often.
I enjoy stepping on crunchy leaves.
