Shaved your body hair off have you?
Video and a glass of red tonight.
Same old exciting Saturday night--a glass of cherry Kool Aid and your video of "Debbie Does Dallas". That tape must be so stretched out by now, Debbie probably looks more like a Sumo wrestler. But, since you barely remember what sex was like, it probably doesn't make any difference.
I always need a supply of quarters for the parking meters.
Ever since the meter maids caught on to your habit of parking in the handicapped zone and limping into the building.
I'm having tuna for dinner.
Invading the neighbours dustbins again, Straycat?
What have I done to deserve this?
You haven't done anything. The same as you have done for the past five years.
I am just about to check my lottery numbers.
Better be careful the tabloids don't get wind of your criminal record if you win!
Where's the nearest launderette?
So that's where you steal your clothes from.
I'm going to a sunday market today.
Shoplifting is easier on sundays, is it?
My wife hates my old vinyl collection...
She also hates those polyester leisure suits, of the same vintage, that you insist on wearing all the time. In fact, she hates just about everything about you.
I have resumed an old hobby.
Back to walking the streets on a Sunday eh!
I had a brilliant day on Windermere today.
You exposed yourself and didn't get caught?
I need some advice.
Of course you do, you blundering idiot fool.
I'm about to cook a chicken on the barbecue.
Shouldn't you pluck it first?
I had a hot dog today.
What kind - Rottweiler?
I love African music.
Put your hearing aids back in, that's a polka you're listening to, you nitwit.
I am looking forward to the Fall.
So are we; at least you'll be covering up that gross white cellulitic flesh!
We had great Chicken Tikka tonight.
Makes a change from the normal stuff you get from the skip.
I'm sure someone comes into my house when I'm out and messes it up.
Sure they do - it's probably Rod1 or maybe Rod2.
Can't beat a bank holiday Monday.
Another excuse to drink all day, not as though you need one.
I'm off to the bank.
Make sure your mustache doesn't fall off this time. Last time you almost got caught!
I'm back from a Colorado vacation.
