Too bad they charge more than you can afford.
I'm ready to go home.
Too bad the parole board doesn't agree with you.
I saw something I liked today, and I don't know whether to go back and buy it tomorrow.
Don't bother, she's not working that street corner tomorrow
My electricity supply has just blown a fuse...
Casino Joe wrote:
My electricity supply has just blown a fuse...
Just change the battery in your flashlight, and I'm sure you'll have enough light to read by in that cardboard box you call "home".
I got new shoes today.
No, not quite new, the man that you mugged for them owned them for perhaps five minutes before he encountered you in that dark alley
I wish I was taller...
Even if you were 7 feet tall, you still wouldn't impress anybody, so just sit in your booster seat and quit whining.
My fridge isn't working properly.
That's because you visit it so often for beer
I think I'll buy some flowers...
Don't you usually just pick them out of other people's gardens, you creep?
I have to clean out my car.
Those half-eaten McDonalds meals and overturned coke bottles have welded themselves to the chassis over time - don't bother.
I'm skyping a man in France.
Well, I hope he knows what that means because I don't...
I need a bigger dictionary...
The three words in your dictionary don't even cover your seven word vocabulary!
I just finished an early morning workout.
Normal people call it crawling out of bed to go to the bathroom and then crawling back in again.
I have just done an hour of water aerobics.
Lying in the tub and attempting to wash you feel WOULD be considered water aerobics.
I have to be careful not to strain my left latisimus dorsi again.
What were you doing, reaching for your beer again?
I need to get to a meeting in a few minutes.
Yes, going to AA more regularly might help you lay off the sauce. You look pretty pathetic staggering around all the time.
I've had a really exhausting day.
Yes, propping up a bar all day must be exhausting...
What in the world has come over my wife?
She suddenly realized she's married to YOU!
My girlfriend and I are going to Colorado this weekend.
Yes, real togetherness is going into rehab as a couple. Try to stick it out for the full 30 days at that program in Denver, if you want the judge to be lenient with you. And try to get some exercise while you're there. It's gross the way your fat undulates when you move.
I am going to get a wild bargain tomorrow.
Wild, yes, didn't you realise that the advertised 'Mink for $20' wasn't a coat, it was an aggressive rodent?
Today I have to go to lunch with my sister-in-law.
Princess Pushy and you will go anywhere with anybody for a free meal.
I need to support my grape vine more rigidly today.
