That's what happens when you mistake a fart for a quart of diarhea.
Popunders suck.
Those porn sites you constantly visit really use them a lot, don't they?
My fax machine just gave me a very hard time.
That must have been thrilling, so much harder than anything else you've been used to.
I don't like the new parking regulations here.
Your town doesn't allow broken down jalopies with no mufflers?
My crotchety old neighbour is giving us some of her prize plants.
She's poisoned the roots so she can accuse you of negligence. Either that or she'll send you a massive bill.
I am going to have a cup of tea in the sunshine.
Tea time in the asylum sunroom--the highlight of your day.
I have found the perfect way to eat ice cream.
You finally found a way to open your throat and dump the entire pint down your throat!
I have learned to hate the desert in the summertime.
Only someone as stupid as you would need to learn what other people cotton on to in ten seconds.
My roses are almost over.
"Almost over" what? The trauma of being watered with the dregs of beer and booze left in all those bottles that litter your lawn?
I just looked through the automobile ads.
And found out that you paid two thousand over the odds for your second hand car!
My house looks so nice now...
Hi, Casino Joe
Welcome
It certainly looks different--and very reflective of it's owner. Isn't it generally customary to put wallpaper on the inside walls, rather than the outside? I'll bet your neighbors are thrilled with those orange and purple stripes.
The news is so depressing.
Well, I think it's quite funny that when North Korea points a bloody great missile in your, America's, direction, the White House is quiet, but when WMD are suspected, the White House goes moral and starts a war! Oh, but the Koreans have no oil?
I'm having a nice glass of chardonnay before dinner.
You really mean you're having that entire nice glass bottle of chardonnay before dinner. That is, if you haven't passed out before dinner.
I don't think I could ever be a serial killer.
You prefer to kill very selectively rather than randomly.
My uncle was a Canadian Archbishop.
I don't know which aspect I pity most, the nation or the religion.
My uncle taught Latin and Greek.
And he was known to be the only member of your family that ever earned an honest dollar.
We are in for a terrible heat wave.
We all suggest you move someplace cool -- like Alaska!
It is hot in Huntington Beach, CA where I live but not as hot as Phoenix where I used to live.
You'd sweat buckets no matter where you lived!
I had a nice steak for dinner.
Yes, if you use enough pepper and herbs you can imagine that cat tastes pretty good.
My microwave has stopped working.
Is that at all surprising to you, Clary? You have neglected it for so long & now it is seeking
revenge!
I'd planned a long walk with a good friend tomorrow, but it's raining non-stop!
