You mean you will relieve your "tension" on the bathroom for five minutes?
I am enjoying yet another day of summer.
Well you only get about six up there.
I'm relaxing all day on Sunday.
Taking a breather from your Mon-Sat relaxing?
It's very hot in the Mohave desert.
It's always hot in deserts, genius. Had you known that, you wouldn't have packed all those heavy woolen clothes.
I got a great deal accomplished yesterday.
You finally got out of bed AND made yourself a meal. Well done.
I think England will win the football this afternoon.
You also think cows fly and aliens abduct you every night.
I like to watch track & field.
And you're so lazy, you work up a sweat just watching it.
I have to assemble some furniture.
ROTFLMAO!
I bought some bottles of strong real ale at the fair today.
Was this your AA group's yearly outing? Been drinking so much you can't get plastered on the regular brew anymore?
I have to make a trip to the nursery to get some plants.
You realise that watering them with weedkiller actually kills the plants too, don't you?
I'm disappointed England haven't scored in today's match.
The English haven't a clue how to play good soccer.
I'm disappointed the US didn't score AT ALL!
I'm surprised you care, and I'm surprised they even entered a team.
I'm going to see a French film to cheer myself up.
Yes those French sure make some great porn films!
I just got a haircut.
Oh it's HAIR! I thought it was a type of green fungus.
I had a haircut last week, and she cut 4 inches off all over.
Too bad she can't cut off all the fat on your thighs.
I'm going to go for a jog.
The fat on YOUR thighs jogs about 3 seconds after the rest of you.
I'm going to have a glass of wine before driving to the cinema.
Why don't you just say it. You're gonna have a bottle of wine and ram your car into a tree, just like in the cinema.
Oh hangover. Alcohol is a harsh mistress
But it's the only one you've got so stop complaining.
I went to the dentist today.
Especially when it's the alcohol from everyone else's glasses and bottles down at the pub while they're watching the match on TV.
The French film I just saw was very slow but quite entertaining.
You very slow too. Too bad you're not entertaining.
Doesn't anybody care that I went to the dentist?
