That means the soup kitchen served your favorite flavor of jello, and you panhandled enough change to buy a half pint of booze.
Today a rather bittersweet event is occurring.
The child support payments are due?
Today my girlfriend's pidgeon escaped, and it was my fault because I left the window open.
A case of one bird-brain helping another to escape. Admit it, you were jealous of your girfriend's feelings for the bird because she preferred it's company to yours.
I just did a load of wash and I forgot to add the detergent.
Don't worry. I'm sure the bottle of scotch you poured in, killed any germs. You shouldn't drink and do laundry.
I'm going to have some coffee now.
You're such a sluggish mess you'd have to take it in an IV drip for it to pep you up at all.
I made a great dinner tonight.
So why did even the cat refuse to eat it?
I am backing Argentina for the Cup.
Everybody is backing Argentina, be original like me and go for England.
I'll be polishing the screen on Sunday.
If you didn't keep spilling your beer all over it, you wouldn't have to keep cleaning it, you slob.
I did some gardening today.
gardening, or gardener?
I cut two lawns this-afternoon.
Everyone in the neighbor could hear the homeowners screaming about the lousy job you did.
We are finally getting some rain.
FinalLLy! since you won't take a shower, take that!!!
I am more drunk than I like to be...
Doesn't that mean it's time to book your usual bed at the detox/rehab facility? Another few stays and they'll probably name the whole wing of the building after you.
I need to buy a bottle of champagne.
But then you realize you can get 10 bottles of ripple for the same price.
My Uncle is a former Hells Angel gang member.
Wasn't he the one with training wheels on his Harley?
My back hurts.
So would mine if it had to support that watermelon of a head...
I'm sick of listening to the chainsaw of the man working outside.
Don't worry he'll be through to you shortly.
I need a large brandy and port.
Did your wife tell you she's pregnant with child #14? Maybe this one will actually be yours.
I am think of making some Chinese food.
Indeed. Dog meat is a delicacy over there.
Just got up from a nap.
up from a nap, go's for a crap.
England are through to the 1/4 finals, nothing else is of importance right now. :wink:
glad to hear you'll be giving your supercharged ego a rest...
I enjoyed a very good meal today
