Mmmm The Devil in disguise
I need a new mobile phone
Maybe you should get some friends first.
I have a bad flu.
Yeah, sure, that's what you told them at work when you called in sick, but don't expect anyone here to buy that. We know you took the day off because there was a hot shoe sale you didn't want to miss. It can't be easy for you to find shoes for those big, fat, ugly feet of yours.
My friend just told me some upsetting news.
She gets more tricks a night than you can muster up in a week.
I need to do some extra work on my pectorals.
You mean now that they look like two tubular baby whales dangling around your waist.
I enjoy keeping myself trim.
In your case that means scheduling an appointment every 6 months for more liposuction, you tub of lard.
I love shopping online.
But don't you find it disappointing when your credit card details are constantly rejected?
I think I shall visit the Moedling Stadtbad today for a swim.
This time, wear a bathing suit, so they don't have to throw a blanket over you and call the police. All that shriveled nudity really terrified the children last time, they had nightmares for weeks.
I have to stop drinking coffee late in the day, I think it's interfering with my sleep.
That plus all the customers you have to service.
Coffee here is very good, I think I'll go out and have one now.
Still haven't mastered the task of making instant coffee? Confused about whether the coffee or the water goes in the cup first? Or are you just unable to read those big words, like 'teaspoon' on the directions?
I procrastinate too much.
I wouldn't have thought you had sufficient choice.
It would make real sense to have up to six wives.
A different one to insult you every day and tell you how ugly and what a lousy lover you are, Sundays excluded?
There is a feral cat roaming my yard at night.
The smell of all that filthy garbage in your house is attracting him, no doubt.
It is a gorgeous sunny day here.
You are lucky to have a cell with a window, too bad it's too high up for you to see anything but the light.
My sleep cycle is all messed up.
this is soul_collector posting on dp's account
depression is a cause of insomnia
if i looked as ugly as you id be depressed too
got a great result for my physics exam
I suppose a D is a great result when you usually get an F, but you had to cheat to get the D.
I was meant to be a Queen.
So, in your sullen overeating remorse, you have to settle for Dairy Queen.
I had an uncle who was a Jesuit priest.
insult
being the only one it must be a new religion
does my butt look big in this
Is the Pope Catholic, fatso?
I had a wonderfully relaxing day.
you mean there was no one to talk to
that means a nice day to everyone that diddn't see you
I had a trumpet lesson today
