That must mean you scraped together the money to buy a new supply of drugs. Still snatching purses from old ladies, you cad?
I'm going to get rid of a lot of clutter today.
It's about time. You bring a whole new meaning to the word "junkie."
My bathroom is very clean.
I was wondering when you were going to get around to cleaning it.
Gonna make some T-bones on the fire pot tonight.
Too bad all you have are the bones you found in the neighbors trash...(and by the way they're from the missing Mrs.Errington)
I don't feel much like doing anything today.
Those words will be perfect on your tombstone.
I'll bet I have the cleanest toilet in the neighborhood.
Mainly because you and your family lap water out of it all the time (and for the record the town dump isn't usually considered a neighborhood)
Just remembered I have to get some groceries today.
9 Lives is 4 cans for a dollar. Don't miss the savings!
My mom seems to be becoming forgetful.
Sturgis at McDonalds: How much is a week's supply of Big Macs and fries?
I'm going to listen to my two favorite funny DJ's on the internet.
Why bother?...nobody will eat your cooking
I wish I could get a raise
Perhaps if you ever did anything other than sleep at the job site you would. Good thing the owners are your parents or you'd be out the door in a flash.
Running out of patience with the internet today.
You have to get a job to get a raise.
I had scrambled eggs for breakfast.
They compliment your brains!
Some people eat cats.
You however only eat the labels from cat food cans since cats are smart enough to steer clear of you and you can't figure out how to open the can.
The water faucet has sprung a leak.
Well, your used to living in a bog!
I might stroll down to the local this evening.
Why don't you stroll down to the local police? They've been waiting to catch you -- The Masked Spam Snatcher -- for some time now.
I can't believe the weekend's almost over!
Then stagger home. Don't get arrested for lewd behavior again.
I am watching America's Funniest Videos.
Those must be the home movies of your crazy dysfunctional family. The one showing your uncle Louie's arrest must be a real knee slapper.
I have no idea what to wear to work today.
What does it matter? As soon as you're there you have to strip off.
Time for dinner, bangers and mash today.
The Monday prison menu never varies, does it?
I just had my car repaired.
Where did you send it, the antique road show?
I'm driving to Jodrel Bank on Thursday.