Don't complain to us that you have no friends. I'm sure not inviting you.
I'm going to shoot a prison documentary today.
"My life behind bars: 5 years down 50 to go."
The power went out
Again? Is that how you now refer to your chronic problem with erectile dysfunction? I guess the Viagra didn't work for you either. That hot blonde you want to date is in for a major letdown.
My duck is in the oven.
Poaching game again, you will end up getting locked up and the key will be thrown away!
I am going to have a cucumber sandwich on thin oatmeal bread, dash of irish butter and all crust removed
translation: I found a rotten cucumber and some unidentifiable yeast product by sour milk and i removed the moldy parts of the yeast product.
or: i found an oatmeal pie sandwich on the ground near a thrown away salad.
powers back on
You mean you've finaly sobered up and found the light switch.
I'm just off out to take a few pictures.
mostly like still lifes. any animal seeing you would think you are a rotted corpse and try and bury you.
My wife sent me 2 boxes of slim jims
I am so pleased the mail is getting there, enjoy.
I'm gonna make an effort to get to church today
church was yesterday....thats what happens to you holiday church goers...won"t the walls crumble?
try makes things to easy
Of course, you can't handle anything difficult. That's why you live in the desert.
I'm going to a French restaurant tonight.
digging in the high class dumpsters instead of the greasy sppon
i feel a cold comming on
Probably from putting wet change in your pocket when you are on a session.
I've got a meeting tonight.
if you are there it is a meeting of the mindless. Or an AA meeting
I noticed the stupid people stoppes posting on here
With your outlook on life, it be a wonder to me that you notice anything.
I think I will take my wife out tomorrow.
I noticed that not all of them did.
Can someone please kick me off here so I can farkin finish translating this bloody press release? I mean, what am I even doing here??
I didn't know 2 people commited to the same institution could go out. Whose the escort?
I should look for a job now
Yes, the sheer volume of years spent claiming benefits must be hard to bear.
I think I would fire you if you worked for me.
You don't even know the meaning of the word "Work"
I ate sushi for lunch
I hope Sushi didn't mind.
I need to grow my hair long again.
