And your big butt and love handles reflect just how fond you are of them Little Debbies.
I really need a vacation.
You're telling me. Look at those balloon size bags under your eyes.
I've been lazy all week.
You've been lazy all your life.
I've been doing some research.
What on, How to make friends and influence people?
I had salmon for dinner this evening.
9 Lives has a salmon flavor? That's great!
I like my avatar.
Since it's obviously a self portrait, that's not surprising. You seem to revel in your own weirdness.
I haven't checked my mailbox yet.
Check it quick! Chase Bank and Paypal need your name and passwords!
I hate spam mail.
It probably hates you too, like everyone else.
I´ve had one too many glasses of muscatel wine.
That should be perfect with the fried muskrat you're having for dinner.
Tomorrow's supposed to be warm.
That should give you perfect weather for panhandling.
I still haven't done my tax return.
Just write the truth Firefly, 'Benefits recipitent'
I need to pick some lawn food up today.
You call all those empty bottles, cans, styrofoam cups and plates, rotting food, wrappers, litter, and debris, that's spread all over your yard, "lawn food"? Well, it certainly is time to pick it up--before your neighbors run you out of town.
I didn't sleep well last night.
Probably because of all the traffic going by overhead. Maybe switch to a different bridge?
I'm going to be in another movie.
Being taped by a store surveillance camera, while you shoplift, isn't most folks idea of "being in a movie".
I hate doing paperwork.
Get a bidet installed then.
I need to clear the junk out of my garage.
Tired of having your in-laws living in there? Cruel of you to call them "junk", you lowlife.
I'm in need of some money right now.
Punters still won't pay you then.
I think I will go to Italy in May.
Forget it. The conditions of your parole prevent you from leaving the country.
I am going out to hunt for bargains.
Shoplifting again you crook.
I think I will arrest you when I meet you.
The only thing arresting about you is your foul body odor.
I just had a frustrating shopping expedition.
