So I guess you'll be down by the river beating your underwear on rocks again?
I'm going to take a bubble bath tonight.
Has it been a year already? Your annual bath is quite an event. Hope you have enough drain cleaner on hand to handle all the dirt that always clogs up your pipes after you bathe.
I'm planning an elaborate dinner.
wow! mac and cheese with tuna fish! Look out Racheal Rae!
I had an eggs and hash browns for midnight chow
Elvis Presley would be proud.
It's cold. I'm glad I've got my warm flannel sheets on my bed!
If you had a personality youd have somebody in bed to keep you warm.
The days are starting to get warm over here
I thought it was always hot in hell....
I like chili.
Just so you can have a Jacuzzi later on that night.
The phones are messed up again
Let's go over this again. When it rings, pick it up, and hold it to your ear. Then say, "hello." If you don't hear anything, your talking in the wrong end.
I'd like to go on safari in Africa.
That's a good idea! The lions need some extra meat this time of year!
I did laundry yesterday.
Washing those awful clothes of yours won't help the way you look one bit. You'll still look like the biggest, sloppiest nerd on two feet, but at least you won't be giving off as much of a stench as you did before.
I hate going out in bitter cold weather.
When you're all chained together you've got to go with the flow.
I'ts St Davids Day tomorrow patron Saint of Wales. I might celebrate with a few beers.
And what holiday is the day after that? The invention of the electric tea kettle? Always an excuse for getting drunk!
I never drink more than 2 beers at a sitting.
All that getting up and sitting back down again must be hard after you've had 20 beers.
I want to make an appointment with my favorite hairdresser.
Better make it for a weekday, the dog groomer is pretty booked-up on weekends. And spring for a flea dip too, your constant scratching is a real turn off.
My eyes keep burning.
It's not a good idea to stick your face in the oven while it is lit. If you stop doing this your eyes will stop burning.
I hate the ballet.
Just because your mom used to make you take lessons and wear a tu-tu?
I love the ballet. I'm going to see the NYC ballet on Sunday.
How? Are you gonna make yoyr kids sneak in the front door and let you in the back?
I skipped school Monday
Uh oh! Your 7th grade home room teacher is going to be pissed!
I am flying out on Saturday.
Out? Out where.....back to the home planet?
I have to run to the storage unit later.
Too cheap to rent an apartment?
Yoga takes a lot of practice to do right.
