And you'll leave your wallet at home so they'll get stuck with the check, you cheap deadbeat. Like everyone else who goes out with you, they won't want to do it again.
I made someone feel better today.
You told them you would never talk to them again?
A friend of mine is in the hospital again.
Does that mean that you will be holding another party at their place?
I stayed in the house all day today.
Did they rent the crane out to someone else?
My birthday is in march.
Big deal.
I am watching the Olympic snowboarding, and it looks like fun.
to eat.....?
I am sitting in the dark.
Too dumb to figure out how to work the light switch?
I have a long weekend coming up.
You should go somewhere and not come back.
My husband is buying a new truck.
It will give him more excuses to get out of the house and away from you.
My new snow boots are great.
What does a stripper need with snow boots?
I'm listening to my favorite radio show.
The shipping news can be enthralling if you're totally bored and boring.
I'm in Paris this week.
Just waiting for extradition. How do the French treat their prison inmates? By now you could probably write a Michelin guide to jail accommodations, since you've been in so many, you shiftless crook.
I want to redecorate my house.
First you'll need to get a real house...something other than that one you drew on the paper in art class.
I am unsure how to spend my time this weekend.
What's the matter, laying on the couch, drinking beer and watching the boob tube, suddenly seem too routine? For some added excitement, try changing the channel.
I was just reading about mutual funds.
Too bad those coins they toss at you at the bus depot combined with your heroin addiction keep you from having any actual funds to invest.
Only about 6 weeks to go until baseball season resumes...This'll be the year when the Yankees get to clobber the Pirates in the World Series!
Maybe you'll get a chance to make back all that money you lost betting on the LAST World Series.
My left ankle is sore.
Stab yourself..it'll take your mind off the pain.
I am at work again at 600am.
At six hundred am? Well, your boss doesn't have to worry about your being a clock watcher, you're so dumb you can't even tell time.
I might change my haircolor.
Just make sure the carpet matches the drapes ok sweety. Although green really isnt your color.
I just did change my hair color.
No improvement, is it? Face it, nothing will help the way you look.
I have several important things to do today.
