A snack? You stuff your face all day with garbage food, how can you tell when it's a snack?
I awoke rather early today.
Garbage trucks rumbling dangerously close to that cardboard box you sleep in?
I am afraid we are going to get a blizzard.
That's one way to keep your ugly mug from scaring the people of the town. Those poor unfortunate children cringe just at the mention of you...for their sake I hope it's a major blizzard that keeps you off the streets.
The birds are chirping rather vigorously...this usually means a change in weather.
Those are vultures circling around you, I think a more ominous change is on the way. Seen a doctor lately?
I'm going out to stock up on food.
firefly wrote:I'm going out to stock up on food.
OK, I heard u. Now stop bothering us
Things are going so smooth lately.
Laxatives are working huh? Glad to hear it but it wasn't necessary to tell us about it....maybe you should start eating right.
I had to cancel my plans to see my nephew.
He told you if you showed up again, he'd have you arrested?
I plan on enjoying a long weekend.
Very long, now you've lost your job. It's called unemployment.
My Spanish lodger is making me dinner.
Isn't he the man the police have been searching for for months, in connection with all those poisonings in Seville?
I am thinking about making a stir-fry dish tonight.
Scrambled eggs again?
Here's a tip from my time management book. If you're already busy, and someone asks you to help them, just say, "sorry, but I'm already over-committed."
Well, you are already commited to the asylum, but if anyone had to ask you for help, they'd have to be in even worse shape than you are, and that's hard to imagine.
My kitchen is very chilly.
Your pilot light probably went out a long time ago. You might want to check your oven too.
I'm going to watch some of the Olympic Games tomorrow.
I didn't know they had sexual Olympics, what station's that on you pervert?
I've just returned from walking the beach.
Picking up litter is a job that really suits your mental capacities.
I am afraid that Kwan might not be able to skate in the Olympics.
You've got your whole life savings bet on her winnning the gold. You know what they say about a fool and her money...
I'm going to work out now.
Your work-out routine:
1. Get off the couch
2 Walk to the kitchen
3. Take beer from fridge
4. Pick up large bag of potato chips
3. Carry beer and chips back to couch
4. Get back on couch.
And, to really built up those biceps:
1. Pull tab on beer cans
2. Rip open bags of chips
No wonder you're in the shape you're in. Rotund and rippling, sort of describes it.
I plan on listening to La Traviata this afternoon.
Hopefully you hear it all before the curfew kicks in.
Can't remember what sunshine feels like
Solitary confinement is tough, but another 20 days and they'll move you back to your old cell, with the little window, if you behave yourself.
I think I am going to be snowed-in this weekend.
I'm so excited. That means that there is no chance that I will run into you!
It is supposed to rain today.
Don't worry. The weatherman is wrong almost as much as you are.
Snow is pretty.
