Why bother? You can't cook and you don't have any friends to dine with.
I'm leaving now!!
I hope that's a promise. Take your time coming back. In fact, take a very, very, very long time--30 or 40 years.
I bought a lovely gift for a friend today.
aND GOT CHANGE FROM A TEN YA CHEAP BASTARD
My super bowl chili is gonna feed the neighbors
That's because your own family was smart enough to refuse to eat that slop.
My car needs to be repaired.
No, your car needs to go to the junkyard. With you in it.
Geez I wish someone would insult me really good, but I'm not that hopeful.
Yeah, coz' you were too cheap to buy gas and tried to fill the tank with lighter fluid.
I had two Snickers martinis tonight.
That must be why your posting makes even less sense than usual.
(ps lighting fluid costs MORE than gasoline....!)
My gosh I really need to get insulted good.
Sorry. I make it a point not to insult a$$holes.
I'd like one of them 101 inch plasma TVs.
Too bad you didn't graduate high school and are stuck working in that gas station! You'll never be able to afford one on your salary!
I like to go camping.
Since you're homeless, and live outdoors anyway, that should make it very easy. Just go down to the dump, climb a mound of garbage, and enjoy yourself.
I didn't get a phone call I was expecting.
Maybe because you grabbed your vibrator off the nightstand this morning instead of your cell phone.
I am still fighting a cold.
You are such a puny wimp you couldn't fight your way out of a paper bag. Buy some Kleenex and just stop sniveling.
I just got an important phone call.
Have you had your death sentence reduced to life.
England v Wales rugby tomorrow, excuse for a few beers.
Like you really need another excuse. You already consume so much beer I don't know how you would even notice a few more. You'll probably pass out before the match even begins.
I think I am very good at solving problems.
Managing to work out where you are when you wake up from your drunken stupor isn't really problem solving, in fact you are the problen.
My guitar sounds great with new strings on.
It would sound even better if someone else was playing it, you no-talent clod.
I love my morning coffee.
And your late morning coffee and your noon coffee and your 10 more cups during the day coffee...
I don't like Coca Cola.
I don't like you but I don't shout about it. Why don't you stay under the bed and give us all a bit of peace?
A mug of hot chocolate(light) and off to bed.
Wow! Your life is really full of excitement! Nice that the old folks home gives you a "nightcap" of hot chocolate, but I hope it doesn't make you wet the bed again. Pity they don't let you old farts stay up past 8pm, although you're usually nodding off by 7:30, so it doesn't really matter.
I am feeling infuriated and frustrated right now.
Yes, figuring out how to open the door is difficult with an IQ like yours.
I like Caesar salad.
