Your dinner's on a short pier. Why don't you take a long walk to it?
I did my yoga exercises today.
Hooking your bra is not a Yoga exercise, although I realize it probably took you all afternoon to figure out how to do it..
I just filled a prescription.
You mean there's a cure for what you have?
I just ate some almonds.
Considering you have no teeth, that must have been quite a feat. How long did it take you to gum them?
I'm going to make some hamburgers.
Stealing a can of alpo from your dog again?
I don't know if I told you, but tomorrow is my birthday!
Is this the one that puts you in the triple digits?
I hate when someone cuts me off.
Who can blame them? If they didn't cut you off you'd never stop babbling that inane drivel you think is conversation.
Today has seemed like a long day.
Coz' you sat on your watch and busted it, so you couldn't look at the clock every minutes as usual.
I think I need a master plan.
I agree:
Step 1: Shut the h*ll up.
Step 2: Go away.
Step 3: Done!
I really should do that reading I am supposed to get done.
McDonald's employee's guide?
I like Big Macs.
I know. Ever wonder why airlines make you buy two seats on a plane even when you travel alone these days?
Ok, I must turn off this computer.
Why turn it off? Just smash your head through it.
(P.S. I like your Salvadore Dali avatar)
I have cute toes.
Well keep trying and maybe one day you'll be able to count all your toes without paper and pencil.
(ps you kittie is cute too).
My shorts are a bit tight right now.
Your shorts are OK it's you fatty.
I'm just going to re-string my guitar.
Why bother when you can't even play the thing?
A friend of mine just moved to Napa Valley.
No doubt they wanted to get right away from you - with good reason.
My fingernails are splitting
Good they now match your so-called personality.
I just began painting the bathroom today.
That won't help the smell, dahlink.
Time to go home.
Oh has the warden called you back in form the yard.
The evening news is about to start.
If you're going to start yelling and screaming profanity at the TV, as usual, at least close your windows before your neighbors call the cops again.
I have to find something to make for dinner.
