I thought that was the electric slide you just did. Don't ever become a dance teacher, ok?
It's so cold and windy outside. I'm not going to take a walk, I'm just going to stay in.
Wherever you are it's always cold and windy.
I love tacos.
Mainly because you can afford them on the chump change you get each day down by the 7-11 in your used Slurpee cup.
I am having dinner tomorrow with a former coworker.
The inmate you mopped the prison floors with? Which one of you is picking up the check at the soup kitchen?
I think I'll listen to the President tonight.
firefly wrote:I think I'll listen to the President tonight.
I thought only morons listen to him.
I slapped the bartender last night
He was within his rights not giving you any more booze after you fell off the barstool.
I ate too much yesterday.
Why was yesterday any different fatty?
I must improve my golf game.
That's not golf, that's flog.
I have a bad cold.
No, you have a bad cocaine habit, you bum. That white stuff on your nostrils is a dead giveaway.
I worked out a solution to a problem.
Yes, toilet paper does keep the dookie off your hands.
I am looking to buy a home.
Look all you want... that still won't change the fact that you have no money since you are too lazy to work!
I hate telemarketers!
Those people who keep calling you are bill collectors, not telemarketers, you jerk. If you weren't such a deadbeat, they would stop calling.
I need to get rid of some clutter.
Why, is that shopping cart you push all around town getting full?
I should make some coffee.
When the police show up to question you, you really shouldn't subject them to your rotten coffee.
I have to run out to the pharmacy.
Out of methadone hey?
I have 22 shirts to iron.
Don't complain, working in the prison laundry is a privilege, and it might help you at your next parole hearing.
The mail hasn't arrived yet.
Oh My Gosh! How will you know if Toyota is having a Sale-abration? Or what the latest deals are at WalMart???
I cancelled my newspaper subscription.
Oh My Gosh! How will you wipe your arse now?
I need to get out more.
What, and scare all the kids in your neighbourhood?
I am thinking of having a sandwich.
Now if only you knew how to make one...
I am off to dinner in a short while.
