Wow, I'm surprised the nursing home is letting you outside! Oh... you'll probably be supervised though won't you?
I hate commercials on tv...
That's surprising since they're made for the attention span of someone like you.
I've discovered I like the show "Trading Spouses -- Meet Your New Mommy." And I'm not ashamed to admit it.
You like anything that is aimed towards creatures with the brain level of a dish-towel.
I am having beef barley soup for dinner.
I hope you wear your rubber pants when you go to bed tonight.
I'm checking things off on my "To Do" list.
Well that's a good help to the ink company considering your list is now 80 volumes long.
I hear sirens in the distance.
As you should since you pushed the little button on your necklace....
I like to build things
Quick, you still have time to get away! Maybe you can make it out the back door!!
I don't care if it's not good for you -- I'm having a Coke and I'm loving it!
Still snorting the white stuff, and still selling your body to pay for it. Gee, your mama must be real proud of you.
I have a yen for a cheeseburger.
Maybe you could have one if you weren't on a diet!
I broke my broom today
In Japan a yen is worth about one cent. Hardly enough for a cheeseburger unless you dig one out of a dumpster.
I might move to LA in a couple months.
They're so annoyed with you at McDonalds coz' you're always trying to pay with Chinese money.
I decorated my apartment myself.
And it looks it--what a messy, dilapidated dump.
I'm having some soy chips that are yummy.
Too bad the tofu, onion, salsa, and cheddar dip you made sucks!
This Thursday is my birthday!
Don't expect anyone to remember it.
I bought a new face cream.
face cream? plastic surgery would be more beneficial
Im drinking a nice cold glass of water
At least the jail gives you something to drink. If they throw you a few crusts of bread, you'll have a complete meal.
I've got to shut my computer off now.
And never turn it on again? Yay!
I'd like to get one of them Palm Pilots.
First, you need to take your joy stick out of your hand.
I have a lot of work to do.
It must be tiring lying on your back waiting for the next punter.
I think I'll have a bottle of red.
You are truly a world class wino. No wonder your AA sponsor has given up on you.
I just enjoyed some salsa.
