It is actually an orange sponge in a bread wrapper but you're so drunk you can't tell the difference.
I just ate some delicious chicken.
at your age the feathers should be a comfort on the gums
I am texting from my cell phone at the moment
It won't matter since your toy phone can't send signals...the sounds you hear are in your head and those numbers are only painted on.
I bought some swiss cheese today it was at a nice price.
I see you have been scouring the rubbish bins for freebies again
muggy weather here today
So you are back to mugging defenseless elderly women for their money...sad.
Well, I'm off for the evening, I have a bowling engagement with the guys.
Well, dumbo, you'll just be keeping score. They have all refused to bowl with you ever since you idiotically released the ball backwards, sending it flying at someone's head. They might not even let you use a sharp pencil tonight.
I have some left-over cooked chicken and I'm not sure how to use it for dinner.
Maybe you should take the beak and the feathers off it before you cook it next time.
I'd like to study German.
German what?? I think you should study English first
I may go to the movies this week
Mandy's XXX Theater is open all night! Get a movie and a nights sleep.
I'm talking on the phone with Jane.
Wow do you think that's her real name? Ususally they don't give their real names when you call the 900 numbers!
I gave my dog a bath today.
You need a bath much more than the dog does. Your body odor could set off fears of a noxious chemical gas attack.
I think I'll wash my hair in the morning.
I doubt that will help with the dreads.... but hey! Can't hurt to try! Right?
I wish it would snow...
Picking up some money shoveling snow would beat begging for handouts on the corner, the way you do now. But you'd just blow it on drugs.
I think I am very gifted.
I think "special Ed" would be a better description...
I had chicken for dinner tonight...
Chicken. Isn't that a cute nickname for your significant other?
I'd like to drive a Ferrari just once.
Get a job in a parking garage, work there for years, and you might get lucky and drive one--there's no other way you will. But, first you'll have to get your supended license back, if you can, you jerk.
I just wrote a great letter.
Too bad your spelling sucks so they won't understand what you are saying!
my printer is on the fritz...
No wonder now you are bugging us after spoiling your printer.
Printers keep you busy.
They only keep people like you busy trying figure out how to use them!
I love to drink coffee in the morning.
But the prison guards just wont give it you, shame.
I've tidying the garden today.