That's because you never stopped eating breakfast.
I'm going to skip lunch today.
I always knew you got food from the skip. Now you've admitted it.
Nothing on TV tonight, I think I'll print some photographs
18 year olds in pig tails and school girl outfits again? Just make sure your mom doesnt catch you.
I am sick of my job.
Your boss and co-workers are sick of you too.
I am having difficulty straightening out a problem.
You're husband is gay. Trust me, he won't "straighten out".
I like Chai Tea.
Too bad the feeling isn't reciprocated.
I had a blow out on the M6 today.
We know, your picture was all over the news. Shouldn't you have put your pants back on before all the news cameras showed up?
I have to make a long distance call.
Woke up drunk in a strange town again?
I try to eat five portions of fruit and veg every day.
a side of beef, three pork chops and a partridge in a pear tree....
I like to play chess.
Too bad no one wants to play with you.
I have an unexpected vacation.
Got fired again I take it.
I had some delicious potato salad tonight.
The manager at the All You Can Eat Buffet is still seething because you wiped out all the potato salad they had for the next week. In fact, you consumed so much food, the staff now has orders to kick you out on sight.
I plan on getting a lot done in the next week.
Then sitting around for the next 6 months bragging about it.
I miss seeing the Christmas lights in my neighborhood.
Yes, well the neighborhood doesn't miss you since you were deported.
There was very little mail today.
Who on earth would want to write to you?
I think I am getting a headache.
Talking to yourself again, no doubt...or is the booze wearing off?
I bought a few bags of groceries today.
2 bags of Alpo?
I need to buy some new sneakers.
Why? You haven't left that hillside cave in a year.
Interesting piece of music on the radio right now.
That's not music, that's the emergency broadcast signal, you idiot. Right now a tornado is heading for your house, but you didn't bother listening to the message. Hope you have a happy landing.
I'm going to use my fax machine to make some copies.
You can ake as many copies as you want, but unless you make a few you won't have squat.
I just took my socks off
