I thought you were going down on a midget.
I am thinking about a particular salt shaker right now.
Thats because you are a sociopath.
I like Gustavs hat.
You obviously have little to no taste.
I am thinking of his salt shaker.
You would ...Pervert!
Wendys french fries taste like a foot.
That IS Wendy's foot...
Time for a cold drink
How can you tell the difference? Its not like you take the time to taste it you lush!
I have a tiny cut on my knuckle
Then you shouldn't try to get the quarters out of the vending machine
My nose is itchy
Stop snorting everything that looks like coke to you.
I have short fingernails
You should be on a short leash!
My fingernails are short, too.
Then I guess you won't be able to scratch your way out of that padded room.
I'm playing Clue. I'm pretty sure Professor Plum did it in the Conservatory with a gun.
You're supposed to play Clue with friends it gets more difficult then, shame you haven't got any.
I think I'll give the house a tidy.
Your place is so filthy you should just burn it down.
I'm having my usual breakfeast.
You could feed an African village for two days on your usual breakfast.
I'm just off out to do a bit of ornithology.
Translation: "I'm off to pursue another bird-brained idea".
I had a lot of garbage to put out today.
That garbage must include your brain.
My sixth sense tells me that I will be insulted soon.
You are insulted so often that it's easier to predict than the weather. You don't have a sixth sense, you lack any sense.
I donated some clothes to charity.
I understand they're going to earthquake hit areas in Pakistan where they will be used as tents.
I going to take a shower after a long walk.
Your odor is so terrible that the cloud of lice which usually inhabits your body are jumping off you to escape.
I think I'll pour myself a coffee.
Drinking that muck you brewed will rot your stomach. Next time try doing it sober, and add water to the pot.
I'm feeling a little anxious.
You are being anxious prematurely that I will catch your post count
I haven't had lunch yet
