Get a job then you can afford to eat store bought items instead of waiting in the park for a defenseless disease ridden bird to roast over the trash can fire.
The weather wasn't near as bad as originally predicted.
You must really be brain dead to sit and watch the Weather Channel 16 hours a day. What's your problem, can't figure out how to change the channel?
I worked very hard today.
Rough time figuring out how to open that 10 pound box of chocolates you stole from the orphan's home?
I plan on a relaxed evening.
Another evening on the couch with two six packs and some porno tapes. A container of yogurt is more cultured than you are.
I have to start doing the work I brought home from the office.
Sorting the paper clips from the rubber bands... Oh but you are a hard worker!
Wonder what will be on the idiot box tonight.
You of course. Isn't "the idiot box" how your spouse refers to your favorite chair?
I just had some cheese as a healthful snack.
Dipping it in chocolate syrup and slopping whipped cream on it took away any healthful factors.... at least that gallon of Extra Sweet Cola will help wash it down...
The water pressure is off today.
Thank heavens! You've been urinating your brains out for the past few days. Better shop for some new carpeting--you can't run to the bathroom as fast as you used to.
I hate this cold, damp weather.
It msut be a bitch being old
Penn State plays tonight!
Thank goodness thoughts of these games bring some excitement to your drab, dull, pathetic existence. Now, if you could only afford a TV, you might actually get to see them.
I am taking a dinner break from my work.
Nobody will notice.
So much junk food to pick from
Just grab what you can, as a shoplifter you can't take time to choose.
I wonder which old goat will have his team win tonight, Paterno or Bowden...it'd be nice to see FSU win.
You may not be in condition to see the game. Your bookie is sending some guys over to beat a little sense into you about paying off your gambling debts before you bet on any more games. Hope you've got good hospitalization coverage.
I've got to get back to work.
They still won't notice
Uh, sturgis, WE ARE, PENN STATE!
Penn State is a mental hospital.
I'd like to join the circus.
We all knew you were a f*ckin clown
I should do something constructive today
Build yourself a shelter on the pavement, show everyone you aren't a homeless bum.
I had lunch with my business partner today.
Left a big stain on the tablecloth I bet.
I'm feeling sleepy after lunch.
Those tranx do knock you out, but hey, you have some speed to counteract them.
I received a parcel from eBay with no postage on it, so I had to pay.
It's a summons.
I should cut down on salt.
