They finally told you that you are the adopted red headed step-child that nobdy wanted and you were left on the doorstep with a note that said "do waht ya want with this one-eyed hair lip"
My appologies to red heads, adopted children, step-children, people with hair lips and or one eyes.
Somebody ate all the BBQ chips today before i could have some
They did you a favor, you didn't need those extra calories, tubby.
I have figured out a plan of action.
Congratulations, you've only been staring at those toy soldiers for five hours.
Is it possible I could still have a headache from the champagne I had Saturday night?
yes and its possible you give your family a headach after all these years.
I had 2 whoppers for lunch
That's ALL? Not feeling well Ralph?
Going to the store. Be back later.
dollar store for out of date alpo?
my co-worker didn't come in for work tonight
Guess you'll have to hold the dust pan yourself when you sweep the floor.
My dog is being very annoying right now.
which is pretty much the way you are all the time.
I need something to snack on
Why not just gnaw on the bars of your cage?
I'm going to have some milk and cookies.
No wonder you have a fat arse.
I'm going to the gym.
You pervert...I 've heard how you hide by the showers waiting for a peek at the flesh, while pretending to hand out towels.
Just heard the clinking of the mailbox, hope there's something exciting there.
The wardens key's clinking is what you heard, time to slop out buddy.
I have to drive to Delph tomorrow.
Maybe you ought to learn to drive first...
The coffee is almost ready.
probably decaf!
I just had a snack
I bet those boogers are tasty.
Put my kids back in school today.
I bet they were glad to get out of you sight.
I still haven't eaten chocolate and it's the 3rd already.
People aren't throwing out so much now it's past Christmas.
Another tasty veg soup for dinner tonight!
It's nice the soups kitchen takes care of you
my watch is working
Apparently it's still a little slow, like you.
I got a new landline today.
They're far too kind to prisoners nowadays.
I hope to find an American bird tomorrow.
