You'd also like to learn to walk and talk at the same time...another impossibility for you.
I am out of garlic.
So now everyone will know the stench coming from your house is realy you.
Its been a busy night
Playing with yourself again in your prison cell?
I was part of a painful football game earlier.
they used you as the football again huh?
I'm comming down with a headache
If you'd stop banging your head on the wall that might help. That's why the attendants want you to wear that hemet you keep taking off.
I ate too much snack food today.
There's goes one resolution. At least you held out until...the first of January!
I already know how to say "Shut Up!" in German. "Halt's Maul!" See?
The next phrase you need to learn is "Stray cat is a dumbass." You will use that alot.
My boots keep coming untied.
When you lived in Germany that's the only thing you heard.
Leaving LA tomorrow after a great New Years.
ralpheb--Perhaps you can get someone to show you how to tie them.
NickFun--They will be celebrating in the streets when they see you leave.
I am feeling extremely thirsty.
alcoholics normally are.
My wife sent my baby wipes and she won't tell me why.
She's giving you a message about your personal hygiene, you dope. Use them.
I think I'll hit the sack early tonight.
It's bad enough to hit your mother-in-law. Do you have to call her a "sack" too?
I've got this weird craving for applesauce. I haven't had applesauce in years!!
Face it, you're just plain weird. Your cravings are the least of it.
I sometimes get cramps in my feet.
Admit it you've got gout, cut the port and brandy down to a bottle a day.
I'm just going to take my decorations down.
You said that three years ago, and they are still there amassing dust and grime.
I think I will go for a horse ride.
I thought you were warned to stay away from the kiddy carousel in the park.
My day did not get off to a good start.
It must be brutal seeing your reflection in the mirror. I can see why your day would strat bad.
My soar throat wont go away
That's because it's attached to your body - it can't soar away you know
Back to work tomorrow
After 20 years on welfare that's gotta be a tough adjustment.
My mom is looking old.
After ten years of driving 200 miles every week to see you in prison, and standing on those long visitor lines, do you wonder she's gotten worn out and is looking old?
I'm very upset about a family matter.
