Maybe if you weren't busy eating them all the time you'd be able to find out who invented them.
The streets are pleasantly quiet today.
because your locked away again
I should do some paper work
By all means, wrap yourself in newspapers before you climb into your cardboard box tonight.
I am making smoked duck breasts for dinner.
Unfortunately pot smoke is not what is meant by smoked food.
My front gate needs oiling.
That broken down shack of yours needs a whole new fence, preferably one 12 feet tall, to hide that eyesore you live in.
I have had a wonderfully relaxing day.
Another day slobbing around your rat-trap in your dirty undies...well at least you finally got out of bed.
I need to trim my toenails again.
You need to clean out your old ones before you start a new collection.
I am flying to see my mother in 2 days.
She appreciates your posting that here...it gives her 2 days to leave town.
A neighbor asked me to take care of her cats while she visits family in Ohio next week.
As you are already in cloud-cuckoo land, perhaps it shouldn't take you that long to fly anywhere
Where's me jumper?
Im sure they're dead...she couldnt be that stupid.
Today I am drinking Tom & Jerrys. Good stuff.
Imur your jumper is in the vile concoction Shari is drinking...a vast improvement for that jumper although cat and mouse urine is an odd combo, but a heck of an improvement over the battery acid Shari usually drinks.
Your so slow that all your mental energy goes to making a lame insult you can't follow directions.
Watchin football on tv
No, you've been watching an infomericial for a vacuum cleaner, you're too drunk to tell the difference.
My dinner smells delicious.
The smell of rabid mice is pretty tasty eh?
All the flights to LA are booked for the first. I'll have to drive.
Good, it gives the people out there more time to set up blockades.
I've had about 12ginger snap cookies
Gluttony isn't something you should be bragging about.
I just had some chocolate.
Pot-kettle-black
My hangover is wearing off - peace to all men
Sorry to hear you got cut off at the bar after you fell off the stool drunk, but maybe it's for the best.
I am lacking motivation today.
Sit on a bed of nails for a bit.
I have to make a turkey curry.
Yeah, throw in enough spices, so people can't tell that you have had that bird hanging around for weeks.
I am going to take some pictures today.
