Well lay on your back for the orchestra!
Think I'll shoot that dope smoking commie tomorrow night,
flying round the sky ho ho hoing! What's he on?
Ill watch for you on the news."Psycho with semi-automatic sits on water tower waiting to shoot a mythical character" Do yourself a favor and stop watching Miracle on 34th Street.
My mother-in-law is cooking a ham for Christmas.
So who's going into the oven first, you or your husband?
If I was home I would be going over my wife's uncles for Christmas eve.
Yeah your wife knows better than to have you around on Christmas all boozed up and sends you over to her bed ridden uncle, poor guy.
I need a new mop.
Stop refering to your wife in that manner.
I need a new car, the ashtray is full.
so is the rest of the car with your garbage. Don't worry, there are lots of junkers in the junkyard, just pick one.
It's Christmas eve day where I am.
Do you know that by the etch marks in the wall or did the guard tell you?
I need to quit smoking..
Well it wouldn't make much difference there if it was Shrove Tuesday.
I may go to watch Man U tomorrow.
Ok you go watch Man U er... You must have a steller social life.
I wish I knew what Shrove Tuesday was.
It's the day before Ash Wednesday, to the uneducated.
I wish they would teach better at school!
you would be happy if you knew what any day was
there's too much dust around today
That's not dust, it's smoke and haze from all the dope you're smoking.
I'm looking forward to Christmas.
I have heard that the insane asylum is giving better gifts this year and better food, that'll be nice for you.
My ears are itching.
Trim the ear hair and maybe you'll get rid of the lice.
I love that fact that I am an uneducated airhead who has nothing to look forward to in life but these forums. :wink:
These forums and your daily visit to the proctologist.
I think I will shoot some heroin.
That's between you and your urologist.
I understand it may be Xmas day down under
wow! At your age and you finally found that out!
I wonder if Santa will be here tonight.
Sure he will, just be sure to hang up your smelly stocking for him to fill. And, while you're at it, you might as well leave your teeth under the pillow for the Tooth Fairy, perhaps she'll bring you new dentures.
I rented some good movies to watch this weekend.
Got a whole stack of porn movies, eh?
I just got another Christmas fruitcake.
they aren't given because they like you. They were given to you because nobody else wants them.
The phones are busy
