Just look in the mirror(s)
I had a good productive meeting with my business partner at lunchtime.
I hope you used protection.
I'm tired this morning.
All that whipping and bondage will do that.
I've got to go to the post office tomorrow.
They're just gonna tell you again what they told you yesterday -- stamp goes on the OUTSIDE.
Should I get a manicure?
You actually think that would make a difference, you still look ugly.
I got up early this morning...
you shouldn't have bothered...
i have a deadline coming up!
How can you have a deadline if you still live off of welfare checks?
I like to drive while drinking...
Hope you choke.
I have to get my roof repaired.
Is that what they're calling it now? Say hello to your therapist for me.
I'm looking forward to a relaxing evening.
To bad a relaxing evenining invloves whips and chains....
I like cold weather...
That makes sense since wherever you go you spread a noticable chill.
I wanna play golf!
Well you have to die first so that you can reincarnate into some semi-capable human. may take 20 years at least.
i have a deadline for a grant application tomorrow.
So stay up all night, write a fantastic proposal, and kiss ass during your presentation so that they can give it to someone who knows something about writing grants.
My doctor called today.
Hoping to sign the death certificate?
I am waiting for a delivery of boxes.
Bought yet another set of Elvis commemorative plates on eBay, did you?
Does this taste funny to you?
Didn't anyone tell you that you don't taste urine samples to test for drugs?
Today I am going to clean my bedroom.
Well, spare a thought for the displaced rats, mice, spiders and other vermin.
I'm enjoying this Spanish white wine, rejoicing in the odd name of 'Con Class'
I can see you've already enjoyed three cases of it, but hell, at 99 cents a bottle, you can guzzle to your heart's content.
Someone called me lazy today.
If it was before 2 pm, you were only dreaming.
My heat went out last night.
I would go out too!
Just watched Sense and Sensibility.